Old School Evil by Brian Cave review

    OLD SCHOOL EVIL by Brian Cave is the first novel of a series of dark comedy superhero novels. It is a simultaneous homage to Eighties Saturday Morning cartoon, a lamentation about the downsides to aging, and also a goofy coming of age story for a ragtag band of misfits. As a man who reads almost exclusively indie books these days, it’s definitely a labor of love that zigs when a lot of other books zag.

    The premise is that the majority of supervillains from the Eighties have been captured and forcibly reparated to a retirement home. For some of them, it is a pleasant enough home that is far nicer than any normal prison. Others find it hellish as they still delude themselves into believing that they could have brought the world to its knees. There’s homages to GI Joe, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and several other famous properties but very little 1:1 correlation. I was actually pleased with the amount of originality from the author while still invoking the kind of things that I remember from my childhood.

    The primary characters are Jayce, a genetically created werewolf, who has the horrifying (but typical) origin story of killing his foster parents when his powers manifested. He is introduced to Max Malice, one of those aforementioned supervillains that have been forced into involuntary retirement. Jayce is someone desperate for approval while Max is someone that can’t stand living in a world without robots, dinosaurs, or other peculiar methods of world domination. A bit like the WANTED comic, humanity has had its memories erased of the world where these things were a weekly occurrence.

    Jayce soon finds himself recruiting a number of the villains’ children. They’re a decidedly ragged bunch of losers that have been hurt by both the fact that they grew up in crummy circumstances and whatever legacies that their parents imparted on them are usually pretty life-destroying. One of them has a magic gun possessed by an evil ghost from the Wild West. That’s not the kind of thing that really inspires you to become a better person.

    Weirdly enough, I would say this book reminds me most of an adult cartoon like Archer or Venture Brothers. It’s utterly ridiculous but that is part of its charm. The pathetic nature of the villains and their egos contrasts to the very real life problems of money, aging, poor relationships with your kids, and the fact the government is so byzantine that even they have no idea why they’re running a retirement home for mad scientists/terrorists.

    Is there room for improvement? Perhaps. I think it’s a fun book by itself but I kind of wish he’d gone a little more direct with his EXPYs. Maybe include some more overt correlations like a wizard from a fantasy world or the commander of an international terrorist organization. It’s close enough to function but I would have gone all out.

    In conclusion, I really liked Old School Evil. It’s an acquired taste and you have to be willing to go with the absurdities of the whole thing like dog men, dinosaurs, and an excessive love of cartoons that you recognize what Dinosaucers was. People who know Uncle Phil voiced the one true Shredder. Still, if you are in that late thirties, early forties demographic or just enjoy old school evil then you’ll probably enjoy this.

8/10

Available here

Kraven: The Hunter (2024) review

 
    KRAVEN: THE HUNTER is a perfectly cromulent movie. It is a film that is not nearly as bad as MORBIUS or MADAME WEB. It is a film. It has a three act structure. There are characters within it. There is (sort of) character development. They have conflicts. Conflicts that are resolved. There is action (of a sort). It is truly, yes, a film. If you think I am struggling for things to say, you would also be right.

    This film is incredibly rote, paint by the numbers, and not even so bad that it’s good. Morbius was incredibly bad. So bad that it had several very laughable scenes. Madame Web wasted the movie potential of not one but four Spider-Women, five if you count the fact Dakota Johnson should have been playing Jessica Drew.

    Kraven the Hunter…is.

    The funny thing is, it’s not a bad Catman movie. If this had been about Thomas Blake from THE SECRET SIX and they’d gotten Gail Simone to punch up the script then I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more. Thomas Blake got re-envisioned as a “rich kid who becomes Tarzan antihero” well before the stab at making Kravin into it.

    However, this IS about Sergei Kravinoff and we get a white-washed version of one of Spider-Man’s villains because given access to the entirety of Spider-Man’s supporting cast, they couldn’t think of someone to make a superhero movie out of despite the Prowler, Black Cat, Silver Sable, or even Ben Reilly existing. Mind you, we have the Spider-Verse so it’s really just the live action films that are suffering.

    If you’re looking for fidelity to Kraven the Hunter from the comics, look elsewhere. Kraven is a character with a fascinating history as he was widely considered to be a joke for most of his runtime until the super-dark, KRAVEN’S LAST HUNT that wrapped up his character for decades like THE NIGHT GWEN STACY DIED did for Norman Osborn. We got to meet his ridiculous collection of children and his resurrected version that befriended Squirrel Girl but I’ve always liked Kraven. He’s one-note but he’s also a bonafide psychopath and if you can ignore the silliness of comics, I think he’s a good villain.

    This movie is about a younger Kraven (Aaron Taylor Johns), who is the son of a Russian mob boss, Nikolai Kravinoff (Russell Crowe), and brother of Dmitri Kravinoff (Fred Hechinger). While hunting with his dad in Africa, Kraven is wounded by a lion and healed by a local medicine woman’s daughter, Calypso (Ariana Debose). He gains the power of a lion and becomes an international mercenary and hitman that goes after people associated with his dad. Eventually, a Russian with mysterious powers nicknamed “The Rhino” (Alessandro Nivola), kidnaps Dmitri and Kraven has to go rescue him. There’s also the Foreigner (Christopher Abbott), who has the power of temporarilly stopping time (or maybe he’s speeding up in bursts).

    Movie happens.

    Fidelity wise to the comics, it’s not very faithful but I’ve seen worse. Calypso is Kraven’s lover, Dmitri AKA The Chameleon is his brother, and the Rhino becomes the Rhino. They even namedrop Miles Warren. I mean, the Rhino isn’t the dumb muscle of the comics. Calypso isn’t a magical priestess but a lawyer who can do a little magic either. But I actually believe the people who wrote the script have READ comics before. Possibly even Spider-Man issues with Kraven in them. They at least consulted his Wikipedia page. Damned by faint praise as this may be, it’s better than some depictions.

    It’s fine-ish. It’s also an incredibly safe movie. Kraven isn’t a villain. He’s a hero who kills horrible evil people and does nothing worse than Jack Reacher does on a Tuesday. Calypso isn’t a villain. No one has any real menace and even the Rhino seems like a fairly decent fellow who doesn’t want to hurt Dmitri. Russell Crowe is playing the only real scumbag in the movie and all I can think is that he would have been perfect for a Spider-Man movie where he plays an aging Kraven, the kind who might have adult children, and wants to die in one final battle before he completely loses his edge. You know, the plot of the recent Spider-Man 2 game.

    It’s not a great movie but I was able to finish it in one sitting. I hesitate to call the movie boring but it is incredibly low energy. Kraven is effectively invincible, the CGI is obvious, and any edge the character might have as a villain protagonist is gone. So, yeah, it’s not something I recommend but it’s not terrible. However, if you don’t get a seratonin high by pointing and going, “That’s from the comics!” then it probably is terrible.

5/10

Available here

Companion (2025) review

     Companion (2025) was a film I was back and forth reviewing due to being a science fiction black comedy. If I had to define its genre, I’d say it’s cyberpunk lite. A story that could basically be summarized as “What if Blade Runner starred the machines and had really stupid people after them?” Despite the comedic elements or perhaps because of them, Companion deals with a lot of incredibly dark subject matter and touches on numerous themes of both technology as well as socialization.

    It’s sort of an interesting comparison to Ex Machina, which had the idea of our machines as wholly inhuman but mankind confuses them for people. This is instead the story of us making our machines human enough that we just use it as an excuse to treat them as how we already treat ourselves (which is like shit). There’s a strong feminist theme to the movie that underscores the comedy and slasher movie vibe as our heroine struggles to understand what her “boyfriend” now wants to murder her.

    The marketing spoiled a lot of this movie in a manner like Captain American: Brave New World as one of the biggest twists comes around the fifteen minute mark but is spoiled by the poster. Indeed, I wasn’t even aware it was meant to be a surprise until I watched this movie with my nieces. They had no familiarity with the movie and thus were completely taken off guard when it happened. If you can watch the movie unspoiled or with people who don’t know anything other than the title, then I recommend it. Otherwise, note, that the rest of the review will treat this initial reveal as a given.

    The premise for Companion is that Irish (Sophie Thatcher) and Josh (Jack Quaid) are a sickeningly happy couple that are visiting their Russian friend’s house for the weekend. It is an incredibly luxurious house in the middle of nowhere and they’ll be joined by several friends. It is in the near future with self-driving cars and a variety of other luxury items that seem to be available only to the super rich, though Jack isn’t one of them. One of the guests, Kat (Megan Suri), is initially very hostile to Iris and she doesn’t know why. Sergey (Rupert Friend) gets aggressive with Iris and events spiral out of control when he’s killed.

    Which turns out to have been the plan all along as Iris discovers that’s what she was programmed to do all along. Iris, much to her shock and horror, is a companion robot for Josh. A sort of sexy Tamagotchi that was given a set of fake memories and a willingness to please that overrides all other considerations. Rather than the superhumans of Blade Runner, companions are deliberately made to be no smarter or stronger than “regular” humans with the ability of their owners to make them even dumber or weaker. Josh is fond of his companion robot but no more so than a pet and arguably even less than that as he’s willing to sacrifice her as part of his plan to murder Sergey then rob him. Unfortunately, he’s careless with his master control and he’s turned up Iris’ survival instincts.

    Much of Companion is, essentially, not so veiled commentary on “nice guy” misogyny. Josh is good looking and willing to put on a pleasant enough face around his girlfriend but only when she’s subservient to him. Ultimately, she’s a convenience and someone that he gets increasingly violent toward as he finds his plans thwarted. We also discover just how fragile Josh’s self-esteem is. The fact Jack Quaid is the kind of actor that would be the dorky but handsome lead in a romantic comedy, makes his transformation even more shocking. Like a slowly boiling kettle, we also see how the escalation grows from dismissiveness to furious rage.

    Companion’s humor comes from the same source as the movie’s terror. The murderers are not particularly competent at their crimes but that doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous. All of them, even the more sympathetic ones, think of Iris as an appliance that needs to be destroyed. The absolute lack of sympathy from everyone around here is surprisingly well realized. Sophie Thatcher beautifully embodies both the idealized retro-girlfriend with her 1950s-esque inspired look as well as the increasingly capable Iris as she realizes her only way out may be blocked by what she was made to be. I had a lot of fun with this movie.

8/10

Arana and Spider-Man 2099 by Alex Segura review

    ARANA AND SPIDER-MAN 2099: DARK TOMORROW is something that has been on my TBR list for some time because I am a huge fan of Spider-Girl (which is not her codename but everyone calls her even in-universe). I am also a big fan of Miguel O’Hara even before he was made famous with SPIDER-MAN: BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE. So having two of my favorite slightly-obscure Spider-People do a collaboration together was something that I was all in on. I also decided to get the audiobook because I feel like comic book books are best consumed in audible form. Why? Because that’s how I feel about my own superhero books.

    The premise is that teenage Puerto Rican New Yorker, Anya Corazon, is living her normal life when she is invested with the power of the Spider Society by Miguel Legar. Trying to be a spider-heroine, Anya ends up finding herself way over her head very quickly. Anya manages to fight villains like Stegron (AKA a stegasaurous man who is like the Lizard but without the pathos) but is totally overwhelmed when she meets Nineties Clone Saga villain Judas Traveller. Judas is portrayed as something other than a joke and sends her flying through time into the far future of 2099. From there, Anya has to try to find her way back to the past as well as deal with Miguel O’Hara’s depression.

    This book seems like it was made for me because I was actually a Spider-Man fan from the time I was four years old until the Clone Saga briefly broke up my relationship with Peter Parker like a deal with Mephisto. There’s a huge amount of in-jokes, references, Easter Eggs, and usage of characters that have largely been forgotten by the comics. I already mentioned Stegron and Judas Traveller but there’s also the Sisterhood of the Wasp, Demogoblin, and even the Cult of the Scrier. These things are mostly throwaway characters and explained well-enough in the book but it’s still a treat if you recognize any of them.

    There’s also a bit of humor from the fact that the book “redeems” Judas Traveller. Judas was a character that was wildly overpowered and poorly written during most of the Clone Saga to the point he was considered an embarrassment by Marvel. He was retconned from being an all-powerful Doctor Strange-esque sorcerer to being a mutant illusionist. The book uses the latter origin but portrays him as the genius and archvillain he was initially done as. He can also time travel, try to resurrect vampire gods, and ham it up with the best of them. Spider-Man has plenty of villains to spare and his D-listers can shine against poor Arana.

    If I had any problems with the book, it is the fact that it goes a bit overboard with the references (and that’s me saying this). Judas Traveler is welcome and so is Demogoblin. Maybe even the surprise inclusion of a certain multiversal vampire. However, by the time Ghost-Spider (AKA Spider-Gwen) shows up, it’s gotten a bit too much. There’s some of these guest characters that could have been cut for brevity. The book also ends in a deus ex machina that I could have done without.

    In conclusion, I really enjoyed this book and I think the audiobook version is even better. Anya Corozon is a great character and Arana deserves more attention from the media. People already know Miguel O’Hara from the Spider-Verse movies but they know him as a semi-antagonistic character versus the kind of hero he was in the 2099 comics. Victoria Vilarreal does a fantastic job, especially with Anya.

Available here

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man season one review

    I am going to die a Spider-Man fan. I wasn't quite born one but when I was an adolescent, I saved every Spider-Man comic I bought, polybagged them, and then put a bit of tape on the back before placing them on the walls of my room. I wish I had pictures from that time. I also had Spider-Man sheets, underoos, and a tremendous love of Peter Parker and his wife Mary Jane. They were married when I became a fan and the only thing to put me off for a decade of his adventures was the insane idea someone would want to break them up. I may like Felicia Hardy slightly more than Mary Jane but that doesn't make me any less likely to watch a cartoon for adolescents when I'm 45.

    My first impressions were cautiously optimistic. They took Peter Parker back to high school, which is a shame because I'm really sick of them doing that. I know they're trying to appeal to a younger audience but "my" Spider-Man was the animated one where he was in college. I was kind of hoping they would do what they did with the X-men and continue the classic cartoon. Still, I loved The Spectacular Spider-Man and was willing to give it a shot. Plus, it had Nico Minoru! I love Nico.

    As indicated by the mention of Runaways' Nico Minoru, this is not your typical classic Spider-Man cast with several unexpected characters, starting with her as Peter's best friend. There's no Flash Thompson, Liz Allen, Betty Brant, or Ned Leeds (MCU). Instead, there's Lonnie Lincoln (the future Tombstone), Pearl Pangan (very reminiscent of Liz from Homecoming), and a very uniquely designed Harry Osborn. I'm interested in seeing how this dynamic shakes out. Nico acts very much like MJ from the Holland movies and wouldn't be surprised if Peter is missing out on his best friend liking him "that" way. I also really enjoyed the use of Harry even if I wasn't 100% sold on his design. This version of very much the kind of "rich idiot" that he was never depicted as being in previous shows.

    The show is very reminiscent of the Holland movie versions with Midtown High being a school for geniuses, the Avengers already being a thing, and Aunt May being a younger Italian woman versus a dotting grandmother type. Except the show immediately subverts a lot of this by demolishing Midtown high and then putting him in a "normal" high school, making Norman Osborn his mentor instead of Tony Stark (Oscorp not existing in the MCU), and keeping him out of Avengers business. We also get some other unusual twists like Uncle Ben being dead before Peter is bitten by his spider, Doctor Strange battling a Venom-like symbiote, and lots of unexpected characters like Finesse as well as Amadeus Cho.

    Some fans may dislike the changes made to the canon. Norman and Harry are now African American, Doctor Connors is now a black woman, and Lonnie Lincoln hasn't yet developed his powers (or suffers albinism). A few things that are canonical may also bother others like the fact that Nico is bisexual (though confirmed only in a couple of quickly missed lines). That doesn't bother me even if I'm currently shipping the hell out of Nico and Pete. Nothing starts in the first season but hope springs eternal.

    The series follows roughly three major plotlines with Peter gradually learning that Norman Osborn isn’t a great role model (no kidding), Lonnie Lincoln being led down the wrong path by his desire to do something meaningful (and finding camaraderie with a street gang), and Doctor Otto Octavius filling the Tinkerer’s role in the comics of providing all the equipment for supervillains that Spider-Man must now learn to punch. Which is a substitute for the Vulture substituting for the Tinkerer in the MCU. The Scorpion plays a big role in the comics with Camilla Black (AKA the other Scorpion) serving as his chief henchwoman despite being a hero in the comics.

    The theme of the series seems to be the issue of who Spider-Man is. Is he the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man of the title who keeps to the ground of New York and fights local bad guys or is he the big epic guy from the movies who joins the Avengers with a billionaire patron? It's annoying because the movies make it clear the former is what Peter is meant to be but the show acts like this is in question. Also, it seems to imply that Peter can't do both, which I feel is silly since he's saved the world multiple times on his own.

    Still, I really like how fresh this feels compared to so many other Spider-Man adaptations. I may not like him returning to high school but everything else is great. The Scorpion has never been more terrifying. I also am a huge Tombstone fan and hope this improves the villain's profile (though he's not quite a villain yet). So, I'm definitely recommending it.

    Overall, the art style is unique and immediately attention-getting. It seems designed to be evocative of the Steve Dikto art style and panels in a comic even as it is clearly CGI. The color usage is also designed to feel like newsprint with Nico Minoru, for example, having very deep blues in her hair. It takes some getting used to but I was okay with it after just a few minutes. We have a homemade Spider-suit for Peter in the first couple of episodes, then a Future Foundation inspired look, and the classic costume showing up in the end.

8/10

Captain America: Brave New World review

    CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD is the latest Marvel Cinematic Universe movie. A lot of people wondered if this would be the movie to restore it after a series of less than impressive entries. Others believed it would be another dud that would show that the series was finished after AVENGERS: ENDGAME. The answer is neither. Captain America: Brave New World is fine, above average even. It's no Thor: Dark World or Avengers: Ultron but I'd say it's probably the third best Captain America film, fourth if you count Falcon and the Winter Soldier. It's good but my highest praise is that it's a B+ movie. It's a fun superhero time that involves a lot of shooting, punching, and flying but not much to say about anything.

    The premise is that Captain America (Anthony Mackie) has been working with the US military, which causes some trouble with his mentor, Isaiah Bradley (Carl Lumbly). The United States has recently elected Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (Harrison Ford) to the Presidency and a lot of superheroes are less than pleased given his role in the Sokovia Accords. Interesting, Thaddeus' bad reputation as a General Ripper-type applies to even other nations. Thaddeus insists that he is a better man than he used to be, though, and wants to secure a legacy as a peacetime president rather than a wartime hero.

    What follows is a basic caper story with Sidewinder (Gincarlo Esposito) and the Serpent Society stealing a bunch of adamantium from Celestial Island. If you don't know what Celestial Island is, it's that thing created at the ending of the Eternals. Apparently, it's made of the substance that fans of Wolverine love and is even better than vibranium. Comic Nerd Rant: Which is ridiculous because vibranium has other properties than just being hard. In celebration of Captain America recovering it, President Ross invites him and his guests to the White House. There, he's almost assassinated and Isaiah Bradley is blamed.

    I won't get much more into the story because there's actually quite a few "mysteries" that were completely spoiled by the trailers for the film. I can understand why Disney did it: they wanted to get buts in seats. However, there's two big reveals in this film that are meant to make MCU fans go, "oooo!" These big reveals are something most MCU fans are going to go into the film already knowing. I'm not going to go into them but one of the biggest flaws of this film is that Bruce Banner has emotional ties to a lot of characters and plots from this story and the movie would have been improved tremendously if the Hulk had been a co-star.

    Anthony Mackie's Captain America is fantastic and the movie "gets" who Captain America is meant to be. He's meant to be a figure who uses his words with his fists (as well as his awesome power armor). Some people may object to the whole issue of a legacy hero but actors age, unlike comic book heroes, and the plot of trying to live up a legacy is interesting. It's just a shame that Steve Rogers never shows up to mention that he was just a kid from Brooklyn. It was everyone else who made him into a legend. We get the next best thing, though.

    Harrison Ford does a fantastic job with the character and brings a humanity to him. Thaddeus Ross has generally just been a one-dimensional but believable character. This Ross has done a huge amount of shady stuff and evil science projects but believes being President will allow him to redeem himself. There's much about whether redemption is possible and the movie also indicates that it's impossible unless you take responsibility for your actions. It's a good message that, sadly, runs into the larger political concerns.

    Basically, this movie has the mother of all bad timing for people to want to see it because of real-life politics. It's not the case of Red vs. Blue (which is actually part of the problem). It's the fact that politics are pissing off everyone in America right now. This is a movie about unity, reconciliation. and a story that doesn't really reflect anything but fictional world stories. Not taking a stand on anything and saying we're all the same may be admirable some times but just about everyone these days is saying pick a lane. Example: one of the main characters is an adaptation of Israeli special forces mutant, Sabra, who isn't a mutant or special forces here. She's also noticeably so short that in a movie with giant red monsters, I don't buy her able to take down grown men.

    In conclusion, this is a good movie. It's a fun movie. It's not a blow you away movie. However, this is a movie that I got out of my seat to go see in theaters rather than wait for it to show up on Disney+. I'm as stressed by the world as anyone else and this was a fun insight into a planet much much better off than our current one.

8/10

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom review

    Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain is a not-so-old entry into the video game library of Konami games, coming out in 2015. Which is still ten years ago and worthy of giving a retrospective toward. It is mostly famous for being the supposed end of the Metal Gear franchise, the source of Konami’s break with Hideo Kojima, and several questionable decisions related to the franchise’s end like the replacing of David Hayter with Kiefer Sutherland as well as overly sexualized depiction of its female companion, Quiet.

    The game takes place in the early 1980s with the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan and the Angola-Zaire conflict. It was preceded by the ultra-short game, Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, which is included in Metal Gear Solid V: The Definitive Experience. For the sake of this review, I’m going to count that as part of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain since the games really should have been one continuous story except for corporate shenanigans.

    The premise for The Phantom Pain is the complete destruction of everything that Naked Snake AKA Big Boss achieved in Metal Gear Solid: Peacewalker. The mercenary army that Snake assembled is slaughtered, Mother Base headquarters is destroyed, his child soldier companion Chico is killed, and beautiful (but traitorous) friend Paz is used to blow up the helicopter that Snake is riding on. Naked Snake is left in a nine-year coma and wakes up with a piece of shrapnel stuck in his head among other permanent injuries. He doesn’t get long to recover, though, because the hospital he’s staying in is attacked by the black ops forces of XOF (Fox spelled backward).

    What follows is a lengthy story of the rechristened “Venom Snake” seeking his former companions to rebuild his mercenary company, re-christened Diamond Dogs, to get revenge on the rogue intelligence agency of Cipher (theoretically XOF’s bosses). They must disable and kidnap soldiers from Soviet and mercenary forces before convincing them to join their cause. They must also carry out numerous missions to build up their resources that take them up against the real-life atrocities of this time period. They also must deal with XOF’s access to genetically enhanced zombie-like super soldiers, Metal Gear bipedal tanks, and a weapon they claim will surpass nuclear weapons (though they have plenty of those too).

    What makes The Phantom Pain interesting to grimdark fans is that it is a much more serious take on the sometimes-goofy Metal Gear universe than previous entries. Multiple characters from the previous games are killed, often in horrific ways, while others are left maimed or a shadow of their former selves. Master Miller, who was Snake’s goofy supporter, is now a broken man with missing limbs that wants nothing more than to kill as many Cipher supporters as possible. The subject of child soldiers, imperialism, and pandemic response all come up in this story. There’s some goofy moments like in previous Metal Gear Solid entries but, for the most part, The Phantom Pain plays it all very straight.

    The first half of the game is extremely well done with the slow build-up to face Skull Face and his super-weapon well-done from beginning to end. The story is a bit minimalist, and we lack the usual collection of mini bosses but the Man on Fire, Floating Boy, and Quiet are all memorable characters. Skull Face seems, in part, inspired by Freddy Kruger and is a memorable antagonist despite his short time on-screen. The gameplay is also fantastic and makes every mission worth repeating until you get that coveted “S-Ranking.” If they’d ended the game after its final mission, “Sahelanthropus”, I would have given it a 10 out of 10.

    Unfortunately, the second half of the game sucks and feels like it was where Konami cut off Kojima’s funding. Most of the second half consists of NG+ style missions with extra requirements while only a handful meaningfully advance the story. There are some good moments like the revelations regarding Huey Emmerich and the end to Quiet’s story but, infamously, Eli’s (Liquid Snake’s) story is just left unfinished with his final mission never completed. It’s a massive let down after so much build-up. Another flaw is the fact that the game’s story is primarily in cassette recordings that require a lot of sitting around and listening to.

    The game is gorgeous and there’s an endless amount of fun to be had sneaking up behind people, tranquilizing them, and then sending them up through balloons to be brainwashed into your followers. The game is hard but not overly so with Snake able to absorb more punishment than any human being other than the Master Chief but not so much that three people shooting him won’t put him down. I love D-Dog, D-Horse, and Quiet with each bringing something new when you bring them along missions. I also think the game has a fantastic soundtrack with “She Blinded Me With Science”, “Maneater”, “The Final Countdown”, and other classic tunes.

    However, I would be remiss if I didn’t bring up the fact that the game’s biggest twist is a controversial one. Without getting into it, a lot of fans felt that it renders most of the game’s character development for its lead pointless. For me, I didn’t mind it but The Phantom Pain is also a story about how legends are lies. Given that misinformation and propaganda are running themes in the franchise, I give it a pass, but others are still furious about it a decade later.

    Do I recommend the game? Yes. But once you complete the main campaign, I suggest doing the remaining story missions and nothing else. The Phantom Pain is a game that clearly exceeded its ambitions.

     9/10

 Available here