Supergirl (2026) review

  

    SUPERGIRL (2026) is not great. I would go so far as to say it's not good. This is a shame because I genuinely loved the Superman reboot and most of the spinoff media by James Gunn like Peacemaker and the Creature Commandos. Basically, this movie struggles to settle on a tone and when it does settle on a tone, it doesn't really seem to work very well for the character of Supergirl. I never read WOMAN OF TOMORROW so maybe I'm missing out on something with the adaptation but the simple fact is that I am judging the movie on the basis of its own merits. It's not terrible but if I were to rate it, it would be a three star at max and more like two and a half stars. 

    The premise is that Kara Zor-El (Milly Alcock) is a drunk survivor of Krypton (technically Argo) that lives her life moving from bar to bar in order to drown out the memories of her homeworld. She has no interest in being a hero as far as I can tell and is comforted only by her dog, Krypto. A young girl, Ruthye (Eve Ridley), comes to her after a bar fight with a request to help her get revenge on the evil Krem (Matthias Schoenaerts). Along the way, they run into Lobo (Jason Momoa) and there are shenanigans until they finally dismantle Krem's human (alien) trafficking business.

    This movie is a mess. I'm not one of those internet guys who goes into things trying to hate them and I am generally overly positive about things in fact. I tried to defend Bloodlines 2 for Caine's sake. But if I were to describe the plot of the movie, it is one part True Grit, one part John Wick, and one part Taken with the veneer of Guardians of the Galaxy. To explain why these things don't go together, True Grit is about a revenge story where the revenge is meaningless, Taken is about killing a bunch of Eastern European sex traffickers, John Wick is about avenging man's best friend, and the Guardians of the Galaxy movies are wacky crime dramas. All of these are good movies but none of them make sense when mushed together.

    To explain what I mean, True Grit is about a young girl who obsesses over the man who murdered her father even though its fairly clear he's going to die one way or the other. John Wick is about revenge as emotional catharsis over an innocent animal dying. Taken is about punishing people who have committed horrific atrocities that we like seeing get dismantled. Ruthye wants revenge and Kara thinks that's bad but Krem is an irredeemable monster who continues to commit atrocities left and right throughout the movie. Kara wants to save Krypto after he's poisoned but seems bored versus desperate and never seems to think about how she's running out of time.

    There's a lot of things that would have been more interesting than Supergirl just going from planet to planet looking for the Brigands (great name, real original). The flashbacks to where Supegirl is on Argo are the best parts of the movie and it would have been fantastic to see her adjusting to Earth as well as talking with Clark about how she doesn't "want" to fit in our small blue planet. Instead, their biggest scene together is one where he doesn't speak Kryptonian and she doesn't speak English. Doesn't he have robots for this? An app on his phone? He understood Kryptonian in the previous movie, he just didn't have the other part of the message.

    Jason Momoa is also not a cameo but not really in the movie either. A better writer, not saying me but me and I'm a journeyman at best, would have had Supergirl as an idealist who wants to bring Krem to justice via the Green Lantern Corp's science cells while Lobo wants to kill him for the cash reward from his victims. You could have them play angel and demon on Ruthye's shoulders but Supergirl barely cares and thinks Krem should die herself but a child shouldn't be the one to do him in.

    Basically, Supergirl is less Kara Zor-El in this movie and more female Wolverine (which would be X-23 now that I think about it). Krem is also a terrible villain and not just because he feels like someone tried to do Highlander's Kurgan with half the charisma but he doesn't have the power to pose a proper challenge to Kara. This is space, guys, give him strength akin to a Kryptonian or other superpowers. Instead, they just have Kara depowered repeatedly for increasingly dumb reasons. I was also confused by all the Earth music drops since Kara presumably is not familiar with most of these.

    In conclusion, I'm glad I saw this movie but it is very flawed. Milly did a great job but I would have preferred a Kara who had a lot of Superman's integrity and heroism. You can do a dark Kara as My Adventures with Superman showed but this one just feels like they missed the El symbol is a symbol for hope. I can't help but think if they'd just had a movie about Kara, Lobo, Krypto, and New Girl hunting the female pirates from midway through the film then it would have been a pretty awesome movie by itself.

The Dark Imperium (Warhammer 40k, Dark Imperium #1) by Guy Haley review

    DARK IMPERIUM by Guy Haley is the first book of a trilogy set after the Indominatus Crusade event detailed in both the Warhammer 40K tabletop game as well as the Dawn of Fire book series. It is a trilogy detailing the Plague Wars where Primarch Roboute Guilliman faces off the Imperium of Mankind against the forces of the Chaos God Nurgle as well as the Traitor Marine Primarch, Motarion. If none of these names mean anything to you then this is probably not the book series for you. This is a series where the more you know about things like the Horus Heresy, the more you will enjoy the work.

    Dark Imperium is fundamentally three separate perspectives on the same event: Guilliam is attempting to rebuild the Imperium from the ground up but is stuck dealing with a backward, superstitious, and frequently stupid population that reveres him as a god. Unfortunately, for Guilliman, their belief in his divinity is the only reason he has any power at all and undercutting that would mean his cause was doomed. We also have the perspective of those fighting on the ground against Nurgle's forces who survive or die based on the whims of fate. Thirdly, we have Motarion, who hates the fact he must use magic as well as miracles to beat his brother but is stuck with the bizarre Addams Family-esque grotesques that make up Nurgle's inner circle.

    Dark Imperium's quality is somewhat varied because some of the perspectives in the book are more interesting than others. A large chunk of the book is devoted to battle scenes where Space Marines and Imperial Guardsman are fighting against the zombie-esque hordes of Chaos. These aren't really engaging and feel like someone is transcribing their Darktide video game sessions. However, these are right next to the fascinating scenes from Guilliman's perspective as he attempts to navigate his complicated feelings regarding both his father as well as religion.

    My favorite character in Dark Imperium is Mathieu, who is a priest of the Ecclesiarchy that Guilliman believes is saner than most of their kind. That doesn't mean that Mathieu doesn't believe in the God Emperor, though, and Guilliman fundamentally underestimates the man because of his disdainful attitude toward religion. He's a character I am very eager to see more development for in future books because he's an ordinary human surrounded by gods.

    The perspective of Chaos is something I have mixed feelings on with the fact that Nurgle's band of followers tend to be weird and hilarious like Muppets that kill billions. They're a kooky family of oddballs except for Motarion that refuses to acknowledge he's among a bunch of deranged weirdos. It's amusing to read about but doesn't really lend the forces of Chaos much in the way of terror. Sort of like how Orks are best treated seriously when they are the primary antagonists of a novel.

    In conclusion, Dark Imperium is a fun but flawed novel. The best parts are ones that deal with questions of religion, the Emperor's divinity, and the fact that a person who knows someone else as family (like Guilliman) might have to deal with someone who knows them as a hero (like Mathieu). Unfortunately, the military aspects are disjointed and the forces of Nurgle lack the intimidation they really need.

Available here 

Fallout: The Series season two review

 
    I found season two was a bit...meh. Like eating Sugar Bombs that are two hundred years old, you're getting a lot of rads but not very much in the way of nourishment. Before you begin clutching your Pre-War pearls, I should clarify that I am both a huge Fallout fan who has played all the main games as well as a guy who actively hates those outrage merchants that reflexively despise everything on the internet. 

    I came into the franchise with Fallout 3, became a huge fan, and have generally followed its efforts ever since. But I’m not mindlessly supportive either. I felt Fallout 4 was a step-down storytelling wise from Fallout 3 (let alone New Vegas) and that Fallout 76 started in a state that was absolutely missing the point of the franchise. Nevertheless, I loved season one and thought it was a fantastic introduction to the setting for newcomers..

    This is frustrating because I was super excited about them visiting New Vegas and the greater Mojave Wasteland after the teaser for it in the previous season’s finale. Unfortunately, there’s something to be said about being careful what you wish for. In this case, the attempt to write around the events of Fallout: New Vegas while paying homage to them proves to be a needle that the showrunners just can’t thread. More on that later.

    The premise is Lucy Maclean (Ella Purnell) and Cooper/The Ghou (Walter Goggins) are on the trail of Hank Maclean (Kyle MacLachlan), Lucy’s father and the mastermind behind Shady Sands’ destruction. Hank has a nefarious plan to use mind-control technology to build the kind of paradise that the vaults were intended to be (or so he claims).

    Maximus (Aaron Moten), meanwhile, is now a highly decorated Brotherhood of Steel paladin and preparing for his Chapter’s overthrow of the Commonwealth Elders. Norm (Moisés Arias) is meanwhile trapped in Vault 31, surrounded by cryogenically frozen middle managers from Vault-Tec and Chet (Dave Register) is unwillingly caring for his sorta-girlfriend, Steph’s (Annabelle O’Hagan), baby. Oh, and Mister House shows up (Raffi Silva, Justin Theroux).

    There are a lot of plots and eight episodes mean that we move around at lightning pace to deal with each of them. Unfortunately, the season just keeps adding new plotlines while not taking sufficiently long enough to develop its current plot. There’s the Great Khans, Caesar’s Legion, The Kings (now feral ghouls), a focus on who is behind Vault-Tec, what Cooper’s wife’s true motivations are, and how the US government is involved. No sooner does it introduce a new element to the show than we move on to introducing another one.

    The biggest problem with season two is lore bloat. The first season was perfectly enjoyable if you’d never experienced Fallout as a gamer (my wife is proof) but the second season I suspect must be damned near incomprehensible to anyone who hasn’t played Fallout: New Vegas. It’s not terrible but I feel like they could have cut two subplots (probably Norm’s and Chet’s, entertaining as they may be) or at added another couple of episodes to develop the existing ones. Probably both.

    The show also feels like it’s in conversation with the online critics of its first season. A lot of the more controversial decisions of season one like Vault-Tec being behind the war, Mrs. Howard being evil, and the death of the NCR are all walked back. But this happening didn’t feel organic. It also does its best not to provide any answers as to what happened at Hoover Dam or the Courier’s existence, which is a bit like ignoring who won WW2 in the Fifties, A lot of beloved franchise elements are also treated for laughs that don’t really work like the Brotherhood of Steel chapters feeling like they belong on Rick and Morty.

    Season Two isn’t bad, at least if we’re measuring whether I’m entertained. I was, mostly. I loved things like finally getting to see Pre-War Canada and now think that would be the perfect place for the next Fallout game. I also felt the acting of all the leads and recreation of Vegas was well done. I think Caesar's Legion was well realized if terribly underused. Sadly, everything else was a bit too exaggerated and comical. Will I watch season three? Yes. However, I hope they dial everything down and focus on the things that matter most: the characters and their journey.

7/10 

Space Marine 2 review

    SPACE MARINE 2 is a game that I should have gotten into a lot sooner than I did. I was one of the original players of the classic SPACE MARINE game that was a classic hack and slash shooter that put you up against endless amounts of Orks as well as the forces of Chaos. The company that produced it went out of business and aside from a pseudo-sequel in BOLTGUN, no one ever thought the property would be revisited (let alone characters).

    The premise for Space Marines 2 is that Titus (Clive Standen), the protagonist of Space Marine, is  now a member of the Inquisition's Deathwatch after the events of the first game. It is not a punishment but certainly doesn't feel like a reward due to Titus' fanatical loyalty to the Ultramarines. Unfortunately, his final mission with the Deathwatch turns out to be a slaughter for his men as they are all killed attempting to poison a horde of Tyranids invading a jungle world.

     Good things come out of the worst events, though, at least in Warhammer 40K and Titus finds himself being upgraded to a Primaris Marine status. Which means he's bigger, faster, and stronger than he used to be. He is also reinducted into the Ultramarines but as a Lieutenant when he was previously a captain. Titus is also still under suspicion by the mysterious Chaplain, who seems to know Titus and support him only begrudgingly.

    What follows is a campaign about Titus attempting to deal with the massive influx of xenomorph-like aliens as well as a conspiracy to use a Chaos device against the forces of the enemy. This is more or less a repeat of the original game with the twist that "oh, it turns out harnessing the forces of Hell tends to backfire against you." This is not a spoiler as it is such an obvious plot element that it would be an enormous twist if it actually worked.

    The game can be played without having done the original but I think my playthrough was strongly enhanced by having done so. Titus has an enormous chip on his shoulder from being held by the Inquisition, tortured, and then put into a bunch of suicide missions for a century. The fact it was done by his fellow Ultramarines means that he unreasonably treats them with suspicion even when they depend on him to lead them.

    Space Marines 2 isn't a game you play for its incredibly deep story and characterization, though. Instead, it is about the gameplay and Space Marines 2 delivers that in spades. There's literally hundreds of Tyranids that can appear on the screen at any time and I initially assumed a lot of the hordes coming at you in the background were just pre-rendered scenery, but, no, you will find yourself overwhelmed by a million xenos. You and two NPCs fight your way through these armies and the controls are similar but not identical to Space Marine's. 

    The graphics are an amazing triumph and you can see multiple planets of Warhammer 40K. There's dark Gothic architecture with many cathedrals, factories, and crumbling cities. There's also a Death World full of oversized alien jungles and a Tomb World that is where the honored dead of the Imperium are buried. You even get to spend some time in the Warp, working against the surreal but beautiful environments.

    If I have one complaint about the game, it is the fact that the single player campaign is heavily entwined with the multiplayer campaign so if you play just the former, you miss out on a lot of story content. There's still plenty of people playing the Expeditions (multiplayer missions) so I was able to enjoy both but I wish they'd included the story missions of the multiplayer in the main campaign rather than separately.

    In conclusion, Space Marines 2 is a fantastic game that I absolutely loved from beginning to end. Titus is a great character and his story arc is an impressive one. The architecture and world design is amazing as is the gameplay loop. However, a lot of the game seems set up to serve the multiplayer with the campaign taking a secondary importance to it. That's fine, it's an enjoyable mode but not my preference.

9/10 

 

Penitent (Bequin #2) by Dan Abnett review

    PENITENT is the second book of the Bequin trilogy by Dan Abnett. It is also the ninth book of the Inquisition series that takes place in the Warhammer 40K universe. Unlike the majority of novels in the setting, the focus isn't on Space Marines or big armies, the focus of the Inquisition novels are on slow steady investigation of evil cults as well as powerful conspiracies. 

    The premise for Bequin is Eisenhorn quadrology supporting character Alizabeth Bequin has a mysteriously created descendent, Beta Bequin. Beta has been raised by the mysterious Cognitae to believe she was being trained as an agent of the Imperial Inquisition when she was actually being trained as the exact opposite. Having teamed up with Eisenhorn despite his heretical status, Bequin also has made contact with Gideon Ravenor in hopes of reconciling the two Inquisitors to work against a third foe: the mysterious King in Yellow.

    The book starts almost immediately after the previous one, Pariah, with Bequin attempting to track down information on the secret cabal that has been at work on the decaying planet of Saucer in the French-themed hive-city of Queen Mab. They have an encrypted code book by one of the Cognitae's leaders but few other leads even as Bequin struggles to deal with the immense amount of distrust between the two teams.

    I said the previous book was a coming of age drama and still believe that to be the case here as we see Bequin go from being bounced around between sides to asserting her own agency. Bequin swiftly learns not to entirely trust Eisenhorn and to also realize that Ravenor will always end up siding with his old master regardless of how mistaken the former can be. So, in true Inquisitorial fashion, Bequin starts to cultivate her own operatives in hopes of unraveling the Yellow King's operations.

    I really like Bequin as a protagonist and think she's a character that would be very good for introducing someone into the complicated world of Warhammer 40K's Imperium. A female perspective is hardly unprecedented inside the staggering amount of lore for the setting but it's still pretty rare. She's very prim and proper, which is a nice contrast to Kara Swole and Patience Kys who feel very much like more traditional ladies in men's fiction.

    Those looking for romance in Warhammer 40K are still going to be disappointed as while there's some hints of such with Lightburn and character Comus Nocturnis, but they don't really go anywhere. Still, I like the hints of her and the winged Adeptus Astartes. While I might question the literal logistics of that, he's a great character and Dan Abnett wouldn't be wrong to explore a romance there.

    There is one serious flaw with the book and that is that it loses a lot of its appeal if you're not familiar with the previous Inquisitor books or the Horus Heresy. The reveal of the King in Yellow's true identity is a huge one for those who are familiar with one of the Emperor's court but others will have to consult the wiki. 

    In conclusion, Penitent is a really good book and another great installment in Dan Abnett's work. Sadly, the final volume of the trilogy is stalled from release due to the events of the Amazon series. I hope they get this settled because I'd really like to get the next volume of this series. This is a very good book and highly recommended.

9/10 

Available here

Pariah (Bequin #1) by Dan Abnett review

    PARIAH by Dan Abnett is the first book of the Bequin trilogy, which is the sequel to both the Eisenhorn and Ravenor series. If you're not familiar with those, you don't need to read them in order to appreciate the books but they strongly enhance the experience. The premise for the books is they are in the Warhammer 40K universe and follow the adventures of Inquisitor teams as they attempt to root out heresy in the grimdark future.

    The premise is that Beta Bequin, who may or may not be related to Alizabeth Bequin from the Eisnehorn trilogy, is being trained as an inquisitor in the crumbling Hive City of Queen Mab. A female perspective is fairly rare in Warhammer 40K and Beta is a fascinating character that has both a mature and immature set of qualities. In many ways, she's an intelligent and old soul but in others she's painfully naive as well as judgemental. There's a kind of 19th Victorian noblewoman quality to her that works surprisingly well in the Imperium.

    Beta quickly finds things may not be as they appear because the school she attends is raided by what appears to be law enforcement despite the Inquisition being above such petty concerns. Beta is forced onto the streets of Queen Mab and doesn't know who she can trust (hint: no one)  or who is telling the truth (hint: no one). What follows is a coming of age story as she slowly develops the skills she needs to navigate the complicated politics and intrigues around her.

    Dan Abnett does a wonderful job of establishing the character with a unique voice and unique attitude compared to all of his many burly men, sneaky Inquisitors, as well as noble officers. He gets to reintroduce most of his older characters from the previous two trilogies as well as show them utterly flabbergasted by a woman they continue to underestimate (including the women on the team).

    The setting of Queen Mab is a delightfully original one that feels like it takes place in the future, past, and present simultaneously. There's a Victorian air to the place but also a sense that the Hive World is crumbling at an extraordinarily slow pace. It gives you a sense of the Imperium's immense age as well as how the fact it is a civilization on the decline. The world-building is tremendous.

    The supporting cast of the book is tremendous. I love the character of Lightburn, who is a heretic that has been branded with "cursedom" that leaves him socially ostracized but in a unique position to serve as a mercenary to criminally minded citizens. I also appreciate the handling of the Ecclesiarchy in the setting, which is the Catholic Church equivalent of the Imperium.

    In conclusion, Pariah is a fantastic book. It's a great place to begin Warhammer 40K even though it is the 7th book in a series technically. Beta Bequin is a fantastic character and the city of Queen Mab is a fantastic character. We get to see a variety of weird and fantastic characters in a society that is full of decadent nobles, drugged-up artists,  as well as impoverished peasants. Fun for the whole family.

9/10 

Available here 

Space Marine: Master Crafted Edition review

 
    I have a mixed relationship with Warhammer 40K. I'm a huge fan of the setting but also went for about ten years without reading much material of it. I think I just fell out of the fandom due to other things preoccupying me. Still, I have a great affection for the grimdark future and could recommend many series to people hoping to get into it. Also, I've played plenty of the games.

    Space Marine: Master Crafted Edition is a remaster of the classic chainsword and bolt gun game that has since gotten its sequel in the extremely popular Space Marine II. Space Marine: Master Crafted Edition includes all the DLC, brings it up to 4K resolution, runs at 60 fps, better lighting, better audio, and has high fidelity upscaled graphics. In other words, it’s just a re-release with fixes for modern consoles. A warning for those poor Playstation 5 players, even though it’s been out for a year, it remains exclusive to Xbox Series X|S and PC. I played the original game in 2011 and was eager to give this one a try.

    As expected from the title, Space Marine: Master Crafted Edition is set in the grim dark future of Warhammer 40,000. All the usual tropes are present with the galaxy’s Imperium of Mankind under siege by malevolent forces (be they Orks or Chaos) and the only advantage humanity having be the (almost) invincible super soldiers, the Space Marines. This time, you play Captain Titus (Mark Strong), who is a member of the Ultramarines chapter. 

    The story is simple: an Imperial Forgeworld has come under attack by Orks and is too valuable to simply scour all life from orbit. That this is even considered, let alone the first idea anyone proposes, is something that tells you just about everything you need to know about Warhammer 40K. The Ultramarines are dispatched and given the job of liberating the planet’s incredibly important mecha and, if they have time, save some of its people. What follows is a surprisingly well-acted and written story from beginning to end.

    The gameplay of Space Marine: Master Crafted Edition is direct but functional. Titus wanders through various arenas and battles the endless hordes of Orks or Chaos forces. You can use one of four sci-fi guns or your melee weapon (the iconic chain sword or a power axe). You often have two backup Space Marine NPCs to provide cover fire but are just as often alone. If you suffer from injuries, you can stun an enemy and regenerate your health by slaughtering them in a particularly graphic execution.

    Mark Strong does a fantastic job acting as Titus, successfully capturing the attitude of a guy who has absolute confidence in his abilities but not necessarily the same from his subordinates. The enemy variety is okay with a dozen or so variants on Orks as well as similar numbers for the Chaos forces. The environment is almost entirely industrial ruins, factories, and sewers but they are all extremely well rendered. Even so, the campaign is not something that is going to impress anyone with its originality and didn’t even in 2011.

    Roughly, the biggest problem of Space Marine: Master Crafted Edition is that it is very much standard feeling its gameplay. Even what it innovates like adding a jumper (rocket pack) is removed almost immediately after you get to briefly play with it. The game does what it does extremely well, though. If it gets a bit repetitive, the game is broken into neat little sections and gives you the option of repeating the ones you enjoyed at any point. The multiplayer DLC is included but is certainly fine. 

    In conclusion, Space Marine: Master Crafted Edition is a pretty good investment at forty dollars but not something I would recommend if it was any higher priced. Even then, I got it on sale. The gameplay is serviceable and the story is fun, especially for Warhammer 40K fans. However, the level design doesn’t blow me away and it can get repetitive after a few hours. So, this is a game best probably handled in spurts.

8/10

Resident Evil: Requiem review

    RESIDENT EVIL: REQUIEM is the latest installment of the incredibly long-lived franchise that started when I was a wee teenager and has continued steadily ever since. I'm a huge Resident Evil fan, albeit not really someone who masters the games. I got my start reading the SD Perry novels and enjoyed all of the Mila Jovavich movies that were a source of comfort during a dark period in my life alongside Kate Beckinsale's Underworld series. Long story. Resident Evil has always been dumb fun for me but also my baby's first horror series as well. There's darkness and scares in the series but up against a bunch of people who like to shoot it in the head.

    Requiem is the ninth numbered installment of the series but there's literally dozens of spin offs ranging from Revelations to light gun games. I haven't played all of them but I have played a lot of them and my favorites are probably VII and the Resident Evil II remake. I prefer Resident Evil to Silent Hill but I never really came to love Resident Evil IV the way so many other video game fans have. I'm just not a big fan of pulse-pounding action versus more methodical investigation that others emphasize.

    Resident Evil: Requiem is a game that chooses to split the difference between the action and horror elements of the franchise after recent games have been struggling to balance the two. It also attempts to marry the extensive past of Resident Evil (which is for old folks like me) with an introduction for newcomers. Whether it succeeds in this is going to be a matter of individual taste rather than something that can be definitive spoken.

    The premise is that Grace Ashcroft is the adopted daughter of Alyssa Ashcroft, a protagonist from Resident Evil: Outbreak. Grace's mother was murdered years before in a creepy hotel that Grace is sent to investigate by the FBI despite the fact she's not an agent but an analyst. She's also not accompanied by any backup, which does take me out of the story a bit. Seriously, you should send an experienced agent along with her so they can be horribly murdered! Anyway, she soon finds there's an evil conspiracy afoot and is kidnapped by the game's villain, Gideon.

    Meanwhile, Leon S. Kennedy has found himself investigating yet another Umbrella scientist on the run. Leon is now 52 and still looks fantastic but he's changed out Hunnigan for aged-up Resident Evil 2 mascot, Sherry Birkin. Sherry is 40, by the way, which tells me just how old I've become. Leon spends his portions kicking ass and taking names, roundhouse kicking zombies in the face while blowing their heads up with his super pistol. The two protagonists could not be more different and it does give the game some much needed variety.

    The Grace sections of the game deal with the fact she's a clumsy, terrified, and confused young woman who is struggling with creatures that will kill her instantly. The Leon sections are full of pulse pounding action that sadly gets a bit repetitive. Still, I think they struck a pretty good balance with both sections giving you a break from the other. I think the Raccoon City sections are less interesting than the ones set in the abandoned mental hospital (which is as classic a place for a horror setting as possible). Basically, there's only so much you can do with a bunch of abandoned ruins unless you're Fallout.

     The villains are kind of one-note with Gideon being little more than another evil Umbrella scientist and Zeno being a rehash of a character that I thought was overused before 5. Still, the plot is perfectly serviceable and the climax promises a resolution to a lot of longstanding plots. One element I did dislike was the attempt to redeem a longstanding Resident Evil bad guy who you can't really redeem just by saying he had a daughter he loved.

    In conclusion, Resident Evil: Requiem is a solid entry into the franchise with some truly creepy moments and good gameplay but it's also somewhat mid compared to Resident Evil VII and Village that managed to reinvent the formula. Still, I would have preferred to either have Rose as the protagonist of this or have a deeper examination of Leon Kennedy as an aging hero.

8/10 

Undercity: Rebellion by SC Jensen review

    UNDERCITY: REBELLION by SC Jensen is a post-apocalypse dystopian adventure novel that I absolutely loved. Anyone who knows what I write is aware that I am a huge post-apocalypse fan and I absolutely love when weird new civilizations emerge out of the wasteland. I’m also a fan of SC Jensen with her Bubbles in Paradise books that are goofy cyberpunk adventures. So, I was all set to read this one and just didn’t get around to actually enjoying it until this week. Yeah, my TBR is huge and that sunk me from my efforts to get around to it for almost a year. Now I’m kicking myself for letting it get so long.

    The premise is that society has been destroyed by war in the distant future. Out of the ashes of this apocalypse has emerged a new civilization divided into two separate parts: the top dwelling Elysian Empire and the bottom-dwelling City. The Elysians still have access to advanced technology ranging from genetically engineered supersoldiers to immortality while the City only has a few districts where electricity is available. It is a distinctly uneven relationship with the Elysians also frequently buying unwanted (or wanted) children as slaves.

    One of the City’s scavengers, Ghost, has a worse life than most citizens because her younger sister, Lyca, has been missing for over a decade. Ghost vainly (?) hopes she’s still alive somewhere and that her searches will ease the guilt she has for not protecting her. It is after one of her last leads dries up that Ghost encounters the mysterious Lynch, a man who claims that not only is her sister alive but that he can lead her to her. Unfortunately, this comes with the strings attached that Lynch is a well-known anti-Elysian terrorist and wants Ghost’s help in organizing another attack on the upper levels.

    What follows is an interesting variation on a caper story and a revolutionary story in one. Ghost must use her contacts with the city’s underworld to assemble a group willing to suicidally throw themselves at the overwhelming power of the Elysian Empire while also deal with the fact that most of them have severe issues with Ghost herself. Ghost also has an attraction Lynch but this would mean betraying her relationship with her existing girlfriend, Mirelle. Ghost is not the only LGBTAQ character in the book but I like how it’s just not a big deal in the City.

    As antagonists, I had a few issues with the Ursaal. He’s basically a Baron Harkonnen-esque monster with no redeeming qualities whatsoever that affects my enjoyment of the story. In post-apocalypse stories, I generally prefer more moral ambiguity. The Time Keepers, of which the series is named, are much more interesting on that level. Are they good, bad, or a mixture of both? They’re supporting Lynch’s war but definitely put off an incredibly shady vibe. Certainly, they’re extremely ruthless and that is something I hope to see more of in future installments.

    In conclusion, Undercity: Rebellion is a fantastic novel that I really enjoyed. The world building was well-done and evocative. I really felt like I understood both the Elysian Empire portions of the setting as well as how the City functions. I like the characters, especially Ghost, and I hope to see a lot more of these in the future.

Available here 

Still Wakes the Deep review

    STILL WAKES THE DEEP is a cosmic horror "walking simulator" that is produced by The Chinese Room (Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines 2). It takes place on a Scottish oil rig during the 1970s with issues like labor politics, xenophobia, and poor safety standards being background before things utterly go to hell when they do as the dwarves of Moria did and dig too deep. I am an easy sell for almost anything H.P. Lovecraft inspired and was already sold on the premise.  In 2005, I watched The Rig and also played The Iron Rig DLC for the similarly Cthulhu Mythos-esque Dredge.

    The protagonist, Caz, is an electrician who is presently on the run from the police. Having gotten into a bar fight that went too far, Chaz isn't wanted for murder but did put a guy in the hospital. Getting a job on the oil rig thanks to a friend, he is almost immediately sussed out and fired on the spot. It turns out that a shoddily maintained oil rig isn't the best place you want to bring police attention.

    This early part of the game introduces us to many of the working class stiffs on the oil rig that range from their union representative (nicknamed "Trots" because he's a little too enthusiastic about collective bargaining) and the sole woman onboard, Finley, who is as nontraditional as women in video games come being a stoic middle aged working mother.

    Despite describing this as a walking simulator, I'd argue that this is actually a full fledged video game even if the controls are somewhat simple. You do a lot of puzzle solving, platforming, and stealth throughout the game. The monsters are invincible and will instantly kill you if they lay their hands on you but the stealth is pretty forgiving. Their designs seem inspired by The Thing and are very effective but for one that looks absolutely silly. The story seems to draw a lot from The Colour out of Space as the Entity warps both the sanity as well as bodies of those involved.

    The atmosphere throughout the game is thick with tension and while significantly easier than, say, Alien: Isolation, I felt that it worked wonders. The old creaking and damaged oil rig is a place that Chaz must race around trying to keep operational long enough to evacuate. While I would have appreciated more time with the survivors, I also felt like Chaz genuinely knew all of the people that we find dead around him.

    The game is on the short side with four to five hours if you don't get stuck. There's no collectibles or sidequests but only a linear progression from area to area. I think this is a good thing rather than a bad thing because horror games benefit from shortened length so they don't wear out their welcome. Sadly, they don't learn this lesson in the DLC expansion Siren's Rest, as there's just not enough scares to justify the purchase price.

    In conclusion, Still Wakes the Deep is a great video game and one that I had a huge amount of fun playing. Chaz is an excellent protagonist and the setting is extremely creepy even before the Entity starts making it more Dead Space than Scotland. The attention to detail is so good that they actually included an option for the subtitles to translate all of the Scottish slang used by the workers. 

Available here

Dispatch (2025) review

     DISPATCH by Adhoc games (in conjunction with Critical Role) is a visual novel video game with an interesting minigame: you are a 911-esque dispatcher who dispatches superheroes to various crises great and small across the greater Los Angeles area. It’s an interesting premise and I was interested in both the Invincible-esque art style as well as the fact it seemed to be a superhero dramedy. As the author of the Supervillainy Saga, I absolutely am the kind of guy who this game is made for.

    The premise is you are Robert Robertson III (Aaron Paul), the third Mecha Man in a line stretching back to the Golden Age of Superheroes. His grandfather died in his super science suit and his father was assassinated by supervillains. Now it’s Robert’s turn! Yay! Well, Robert attempts to avenge his father by going after the mysterious Shroud (Matt Mercer) and ends up getting his suit trashed. Robert is more Peter Parker than Tony Stark and lacks both the cash as well as the scientific expertise to fix the suit. He is done.

    Incredibly depressed by the circumstances, he is about to retire with his black and white corgi, Beef, when he’s approached by the beautiful Supergirl-esque Blonde Blazer (Erin Yvette). Blonde Blazer works for SDR, a for profit superhero rescue company, and they need more heroes to help with their program of redeeming supervillains. She also is incredibly inappropriate during the job interview and you get to understand that this is also a dating simulator! Robert is given the additional carrot than just steady employment in his chosen field by Blazer saying that SDN can rebuild his mecha suit.

    Essentially, the joke is that SDR isn’t exactly a very important corporation and if it makes a lot of money then it isn’t passing it down to its employees. Z-Team is composed of C-List supervillains like Sonar, a cryptocurrency white collar criminal who is a man bat, and Punch Up who is 3ft tall but has super strength. The most important character is Invisigal (Laura Bailey), who is another love interest, and Chase (Jeffrey Wright) who was a friend to Robbie growing up.

    The story is more or the opposite of the Suicide Squad as Robert doesn’t use explosive collars but snark combined with trust to try to build up the team’s morale as well as work on making them better people. Invisigal serves as the Veronica to Blazer’s Betty, being a reformed criminal and snarky thief that immediately takes a love-hate to Robert. Your decisions will determine who will love, hate, and respect you. It’s very heartwarming if you understand that this is game is incredibly earnest despite its many dirty jokes. How dirty? There’s a nudity and profanity censor you can turn on.

    The actual gameplay is pretty mid with a bunch of QTE fighting prompts, a hacking minigame, and the primary gameplay that involves selecting heroes for whatever crises that pop up during Robert’s workday. These missions are all done in percentages and it is impossible to get all of them correct. There’s a lot of humor in the minigame as well with some of the requests being for help moving to helping a baby kaiju get back to its home volcano.

    The biggest fault is that it’s rather on the short side and it’s very easy to complete the gameplay sections. It’s very easy to complete the entire game in four to five hours. You can replay it and I absolutely am going to. Despite this, I loved the characters and their banter so much that I think it would have been a fantastic animated series. Indeed, I hope they consider doing one like Netflix’s Castlevania or Devil May Cry.

    In conclusion, Dispatch is a really solid piece of entertainment. It’s on the short side and the gameplay is mediocre but it’s probably the most fun visual novel or Telltale-esque game I’ve played since the original Walking Dead or Game of Thrones. I love Blonde Blazer, Invisigal, Phenomaman, Prism, and Malevola. All of the characters are enjoyable, though, and I loved their increasing bond.

8.5/10 

Fantastic Four (2025) review

    THE FANTASTIC FOUR is a movie that a lot of us were looking forward to as much, if not more, than Superman (2025). A lot of people complain about superhero fatigue but I actually think it's more like "cinema fatigue" with the problem not being that people aren't going to see superhero movies but that they aren't seeing movies period anymore. Streaming and Covid-19 are a one-two punch that means that if people are going to the movies, they'll probably do so only for things that are big events.

    Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say that I this one is a miss rather than a hit. I think Superman (2025) was a far better movie and this is just sort of okay--if that. Rather than compare it to Superman (2025) exclusively, I'm going to compare it to Marvel's other movies from the year with Thunderbolts and Captain America: Brave New World. I liked it the least of the three with Thunderbolts having a lot more heart and Brave New World being okay but still enjoyable.

    The premise is that on an alternate 1960s Earth, the Fantastic Four have managed to bring about world peace and elevate everything to a zeerust Pre-War Fallout-esque future. All in the span of about four years, which is already something that puts me off world-building wise. Sue Storm is pregnant with Franklin Richards and the family is in a really good headspace when they receive an ominous warning from the Silver Surfer: their world will be destroyed by Galactus within the year.

    The positives of this movie first: Julia Garner is fantastic as the Silver Surfer and I would have probably enjoyed a movie about her over this group. All those people complaining about the Silver Surfer receiving a gender flip are being silly. First, it's an alternate universe. Second, those saying it's a big support of the 'womenz' miss that a substantial chunk of the male audience (and some women) are going to enjoy her sexy re-design.

    I also appreciate a comics-accurate depiction of Galactus. The whole idea that audiences would never accept a skyscrapper-sized giant space god depends on the idea that there's something inherently less silly about guys with cosmic ray-induced powers over a Titan-sized being. If you're here for the comic book silliness, you're here for the comic book silliness. Which is why Krypto was perfectly fine and comic book editors were stupid to try to get rid of Supergirl for decades. In fact, Galactus being onscreen only for about ten minutes total is my biggest complaint about the film.

    As for the Fantastic Four themselves? Well, they're definitely the Fantastic Four. Reed is smart, Sue is the mature one, Ben is a rock guy, and Johnny is driven by his desire to bang the Silver Surfer. Honestly, it's a very bland and vanilla take on the characters with the only one who elevates the material being Pedro Pascal. His Reed is coded as autistic and I appreciated the representation even as I got pissed off when he called himself broken because of it. Mind you, this is a personal issue for me so it might not irritate you like it did me.

    In simple terms, the movie is boring. The action scenes have no stakes, no one is threatened, and our heroes don't seem to struggle throughout. The fact the entire world hangs on their every word and only turns on them briefly (before being resolved by a speech) is ludicrous. I just didn't have much fun during the film.

4/10

Robocop: Unfinished Business review

    ROBOCOP: UNFINISHED BUSINESS is not quite DLC and not quite a true sequel to the excellent ROBOCOP: ROGUE CITY game by Teyon. I really love Robocop and he remains one of my all-time favorite cyberpunk works of fiction. OCP, Ed-209, the black humor, and a surprisingly nuanced jab at the idea of police to save us (where only Alex Murphy and Lewis do any good) stick in my mind decades later. Rogue City managed to capture a lot of what made the original movie (and to a lesser extent its sequel) great. Part of this had to do with getting Peter Weller back for the role and much like Robert Englund as Freddy, accept no substitutes.

    Unfinished Business is transparently an homage to the 2012 Dredd film, which was itself an homage to The Raid. Alex Murphy's home of Metro West is hit by a bunch of mercenaries that proceed to kill cops as well as steal his chair for their plan to create a device called the OCP Hijacker. This means that Robocop has to fight his way from the bottom of the massive facility to the top, going through a variety of mercenaries and drones until you can confront ex-cop, Cassius Graves. Along the way, you'll have some flashbacks to Alex Murphy's past as well as get to play a few other characters.

    Really, the best part of the game is the OmniTower itself. A massive arcology that is very different from what we've normally seen from the Robocop franchise, it is meant to be a place for all of Detroit's residents to be moved for Delta City. However, OCP didn't bother to finish the tower and massive numbers of people were doubled up in apartments that may not even have plumbing or living in unfinished levels. The environmental storytelling is fantastic and probably the thing to recommend most about the game.

    The gameplay is, unfortunately, just wave after wave of enemies in a huge number of arenas where you must blow away as many mercenaries as possible. The lack of gangs to fight is an issue because Robocop is one of the original colorful punk opponents. The Nuka gangs and bikers were some of my favorite part of Rogue City after all. Worse, there's no bosses and that is unfortunate since I really enjoyed fighting ED-209 and Robocop 2. Here, they could have made a tank or something but you don't even fight turrets--you just run around them.

    I feel like the villain is a bit bland as Cassius Graves being a ex-cop who somehow became a mercenary that thinks OCP isn't harsh enough on criminals (despite them wanting to exterminate the poor) doesn't really work as an enemy. It's extra weird given that Robocop 3 is next in the game world's timeline when they actively become Nazis. Still, I like the fact that the game deals with the fact that the criminals of Old Detroit have moved from being predators like Boddiker and becoming just the desperate that needs to resist.

    In conclusion, Robocop: Unfinished Business is an excellent game with a lot of value for your dollar. I'd buy that for thirty dollars, if I suppose. Still, it feels pretty undercooked for a sequel even if it's awesome for DLC. I'd say it has about eight to ten hours of content to play through if you want.

 7.5/10

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga review

    Furiosa: A Mad Max Story is the prequel to Mad Max: Fury Road, one of the best movies of the 21st century as well as arguably the best of the Mad Max franchise. The movie was originally supposed to be filmed back to back with Fury Road, starring Charlize Theron, but events resulted in it being filmed a decade later with a new actress. The recasting and the long wait time may have contributed to its failure at the box office. There is also the question of how much of a niche property a Mad Max movie is without Mad Max.

    The premise is that Furiosa (Anya Taylor-Joy) is a young woman living in a desert oasis when she’s kidnapped by raiders and brought before wasteland warlord, Dementus (Chris Hemsworth). Dementus is a bizarre and flamboyant character, leading his biker gang as much on whim as anyone coherent strategy. Dementus adopts Furiosa, against her will, and kills her mother before her eyes. Thus begins Furiosa’s decade-long quest for revenge against the individual that involves rival warlord, Immortan Joe, and his army of War Boys. Furiosa also befriends a rig driver named Praetorian Jack, who may be something more.

    My opinion on the film? Well, it’s good but not great. A prequel is something that always has an uphill battle to win over viewers because a large amount of the tension is removed. We know Furiosa is going to live and eventually rebel against Immortan Joe. Thus it is on the movie to make side characters whose fates we care about or make the events compelling enough that we don’t care about knowing what is going to happen to them. Furiosa, unfortunately, doesn’t quite do either.

    Anya Taylor-Joy is likable enough as Furiosa but it is hard to believe she is the hardened protagonist of Fury Road. She is mostly silent throughout the film and while this is the case for Mad Max himself in most of the movies, this is a far more talky film than most of them. Some more scenes where we find out what she thinks of her Devil’s alliance with Immortan Joe and her relationship with Praetorian Jack would have been welcome. Indeed, the complete lack of romance scenes despite one being central to her relationship to Joe’s regime is unfortunate.

    As a result of Furiosa’s silence, Chris Hemsworth steals the movie for better and worse. The movie makes the bizarre choice to give him a fake nose and teeth, perhaps to distract from his natural good looks, as well as have him speak in an especially nasal voice that is just confusing. Dementus is perhaps the most interesting character in the movie, though, with a surprising amount of nuance. He does terrible, unforgivable, things in the movie but you understand his perspective. Indeed, part of the movie’s problem is Dementus is charismatic enough and Immortan Joe is so one-dimensionally evil that you root for the former against the latter. This despite Furiosa being on Joe’s side(ish).

    Really, the movie feels like a tamer and toned down version of Fury Road. Fury Road was in your face about its feminist message, contrasted with two hours of relentless action that, nevertheless, kept its message clear. Furiosa, at its worst, feels like the PG-13 Hunger Games version of the post-apocalypse. Furiosa is sold to Joe’s harem and it pretty much skips over that part (not that I wanted to see the trauma involved) despite the fact that seems like it is a pretty important part of her story. We also have only a couple of other women in the movie, none of whom really interact with Furiosa. She is, to quote a lot of bad fiction, “not like other girls.”

    Spectacle-wise, the movie also falls short. It’s a very pretty film, don’t get me wrong. Unfortunately, CGI is heavily relied on in this film to the point that it feels less gritty and grounded by a significant degree. Fury Road had some CGI, but it’s a lot more noticeable here. The characters pull off cartoonish stunts that make it feel like an anime at times. I think it says a lot about my opinion of the movie that some of my favorite parts of the film were the appearance of Mad Max video game characters like Scrotus and Chumbucket, canonizing them.

    It’s not a bad film, but if you want to know a single moment that defines it for me, it’s when Furiosa has been masquerading as a boy for years in the pits of Immortan Joe’s mechanics shop. The wind picks up at one point and reveals her beautiful flowing hair, revealing her to be a girl to Praetorian Jack, which says the movie didn’t think that Furiosa would shave her head to protect her identity. It’s the kind of thing that takes you out of the film.

Available here 

Old School Evil by Brian Cave review

    OLD SCHOOL EVIL by Brian Cave is the first novel of a series of dark comedy superhero novels. It is a simultaneous homage to Eighties Saturday Morning cartoon, a lamentation about the downsides to aging, and also a goofy coming of age story for a ragtag band of misfits. As a man who reads almost exclusively indie books these days, it’s definitely a labor of love that zigs when a lot of other books zag.

    The premise is that the majority of supervillains from the Eighties have been captured and forcibly reparated to a retirement home. For some of them, it is a pleasant enough home that is far nicer than any normal prison. Others find it hellish as they still delude themselves into believing that they could have brought the world to its knees. There’s homages to GI Joe, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and several other famous properties but very little 1:1 correlation. I was actually pleased with the amount of originality from the author while still invoking the kind of things that I remember from my childhood.

    The primary characters are Jayce, a genetically created werewolf, who has the horrifying (but typical) origin story of killing his foster parents when his powers manifested. He is introduced to Max Malice, one of those aforementioned supervillains that have been forced into involuntary retirement. Jayce is someone desperate for approval while Max is someone that can’t stand living in a world without robots, dinosaurs, or other peculiar methods of world domination. A bit like the WANTED comic, humanity has had its memories erased of the world where these things were a weekly occurrence.

    Jayce soon finds himself recruiting a number of the villains’ children. They’re a decidedly ragged bunch of losers that have been hurt by both the fact that they grew up in crummy circumstances and whatever legacies that their parents imparted on them are usually pretty life-destroying. One of them has a magic gun possessed by an evil ghost from the Wild West. That’s not the kind of thing that really inspires you to become a better person.

    Weirdly enough, I would say this book reminds me most of an adult cartoon like Archer or Venture Brothers. It’s utterly ridiculous but that is part of its charm. The pathetic nature of the villains and their egos contrasts to the very real life problems of money, aging, poor relationships with your kids, and the fact the government is so byzantine that even they have no idea why they’re running a retirement home for mad scientists/terrorists.

    Is there room for improvement? Perhaps. I think it’s a fun book by itself but I kind of wish he’d gone a little more direct with his EXPYs. Maybe include some more overt correlations like a wizard from a fantasy world or the commander of an international terrorist organization. It’s close enough to function but I would have gone all out.

    In conclusion, I really liked Old School Evil. It’s an acquired taste and you have to be willing to go with the absurdities of the whole thing like dog men, dinosaurs, and an excessive love of cartoons that you recognize what Dinosaucers was. People who know Uncle Phil voiced the one true Shredder. Still, if you are in that late thirties, early forties demographic or just enjoy old school evil then you’ll probably enjoy this.

8/10

Available here

Companion (2025) review

     Companion (2025) was a film I was back and forth reviewing due to being a science fiction black comedy. If I had to define its genre, I’d say it’s cyberpunk lite. A story that could basically be summarized as “What if Blade Runner starred the machines and had really stupid people after them?” Despite the comedic elements or perhaps because of them, Companion deals with a lot of incredibly dark subject matter and touches on numerous themes of both technology as well as socialization.

    It’s sort of an interesting comparison to Ex Machina, which had the idea of our machines as wholly inhuman but mankind confuses them for people. This is instead the story of us making our machines human enough that we just use it as an excuse to treat them as how we already treat ourselves (which is like shit). There’s a strong feminist theme to the movie that underscores the comedy and slasher movie vibe as our heroine struggles to understand what her “boyfriend” now wants to murder her.

    The marketing spoiled a lot of this movie in a manner like Captain American: Brave New World as one of the biggest twists comes around the fifteen minute mark but is spoiled by the poster. Indeed, I wasn’t even aware it was meant to be a surprise until I watched this movie with my nieces. They had no familiarity with the movie and thus were completely taken off guard when it happened. If you can watch the movie unspoiled or with people who don’t know anything other than the title, then I recommend it. Otherwise, note, that the rest of the review will treat this initial reveal as a given.

    The premise for Companion is that Irish (Sophie Thatcher) and Josh (Jack Quaid) are a sickeningly happy couple that are visiting their Russian friend’s house for the weekend. It is an incredibly luxurious house in the middle of nowhere and they’ll be joined by several friends. It is in the near future with self-driving cars and a variety of other luxury items that seem to be available only to the super rich, though Jack isn’t one of them. One of the guests, Kat (Megan Suri), is initially very hostile to Iris and she doesn’t know why. Sergey (Rupert Friend) gets aggressive with Iris and events spiral out of control when he’s killed.

    Which turns out to have been the plan all along as Iris discovers that’s what she was programmed to do all along. Iris, much to her shock and horror, is a companion robot for Josh. A sort of sexy Tamagotchi that was given a set of fake memories and a willingness to please that overrides all other considerations. Rather than the superhumans of Blade Runner, companions are deliberately made to be no smarter or stronger than “regular” humans with the ability of their owners to make them even dumber or weaker. Josh is fond of his companion robot but no more so than a pet and arguably even less than that as he’s willing to sacrifice her as part of his plan to murder Sergey then rob him. Unfortunately, he’s careless with his master control and he’s turned up Iris’ survival instincts.

    Much of Companion is, essentially, not so veiled commentary on “nice guy” misogyny. Josh is good looking and willing to put on a pleasant enough face around his girlfriend but only when she’s subservient to him. Ultimately, she’s a convenience and someone that he gets increasingly violent toward as he finds his plans thwarted. We also discover just how fragile Josh’s self-esteem is. The fact Jack Quaid is the kind of actor that would be the dorky but handsome lead in a romantic comedy, makes his transformation even more shocking. Like a slowly boiling kettle, we also see how the escalation grows from dismissiveness to furious rage.

    Companion’s humor comes from the same source as the movie’s terror. The murderers are not particularly competent at their crimes but that doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous. All of them, even the more sympathetic ones, think of Iris as an appliance that needs to be destroyed. The absolute lack of sympathy from everyone around here is surprisingly well realized. Sophie Thatcher beautifully embodies both the idealized retro-girlfriend with her 1950s-esque inspired look as well as the increasingly capable Iris as she realizes her only way out may be blocked by what she was made to be. I had a lot of fun with this movie.

8/10

Arana and Spider-Man 2099 by Alex Segura review

    ARANA AND SPIDER-MAN 2099: DARK TOMORROW is something that has been on my TBR list for some time because I am a huge fan of Spider-Girl (which is not her codename but everyone calls her even in-universe). I am also a big fan of Miguel O’Hara even before he was made famous with SPIDER-MAN: BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE. So having two of my favorite slightly-obscure Spider-People do a collaboration together was something that I was all in on. I also decided to get the audiobook because I feel like comic book books are best consumed in audible form. Why? Because that’s how I feel about my own superhero books.

    The premise is that teenage Puerto Rican New Yorker, Anya Corazon, is living her normal life when she is invested with the power of the Spider Society by Miguel Legar. Trying to be a spider-heroine, Anya ends up finding herself way over her head very quickly. Anya manages to fight villains like Stegron (AKA a stegasaurous man who is like the Lizard but without the pathos) but is totally overwhelmed when she meets Nineties Clone Saga villain Judas Traveller. Judas is portrayed as something other than a joke and sends her flying through time into the far future of 2099. From there, Anya has to try to find her way back to the past as well as deal with Miguel O’Hara’s depression.

    This book seems like it was made for me because I was actually a Spider-Man fan from the time I was four years old until the Clone Saga briefly broke up my relationship with Peter Parker like a deal with Mephisto. There’s a huge amount of in-jokes, references, Easter Eggs, and usage of characters that have largely been forgotten by the comics. I already mentioned Stegron and Judas Traveller but there’s also the Sisterhood of the Wasp, Demogoblin, and even the Cult of the Scrier. These things are mostly throwaway characters and explained well-enough in the book but it’s still a treat if you recognize any of them.

    There’s also a bit of humor from the fact that the book “redeems” Judas Traveller. Judas was a character that was wildly overpowered and poorly written during most of the Clone Saga to the point he was considered an embarrassment by Marvel. He was retconned from being an all-powerful Doctor Strange-esque sorcerer to being a mutant illusionist. The book uses the latter origin but portrays him as the genius and archvillain he was initially done as. He can also time travel, try to resurrect vampire gods, and ham it up with the best of them. Spider-Man has plenty of villains to spare and his D-listers can shine against poor Arana.

    If I had any problems with the book, it is the fact that it goes a bit overboard with the references (and that’s me saying this). Judas Traveler is welcome and so is Demogoblin. Maybe even the surprise inclusion of a certain multiversal vampire. However, by the time Ghost-Spider (AKA Spider-Gwen) shows up, it’s gotten a bit too much. There’s some of these guest characters that could have been cut for brevity. The book also ends in a deus ex machina that I could have done without.

    In conclusion, I really enjoyed this book and I think the audiobook version is even better. Anya Corozon is a great character and Arana deserves more attention from the media. People already know Miguel O’Hara from the Spider-Verse movies but they know him as a semi-antagonistic character versus the kind of hero he was in the 2099 comics. Victoria Vilarreal does a fantastic job, especially with Anya.

Available here

Alien: Romulus review

    ALIEN: ROMULUS is good. This is something that should be said in the start of the review because it is a miracle on par with Moses parting the Red Sea or the resurrection of Lazarus. It may sound as if I’m engaged in hyperbole but I’m a fan of the Aliens franchise since I bought one of those incredibly mismarketed children’s toys when I was ten. In simple terms, my summary of Aliens can be viewed as, “Alien is good, Aliens is good, Aliens vs. Predator the video game is good, the Dark Horse, comics were good, Alien: Isolation is good, and everything else is crap.” There’s degrees of crap among the Alien franchise and some things are much worse than others but there is a lot of crap in the franchise and some of it is historically bad like Aliens: Colonial Marines.

    The issues are many but boil down to the fact that much of the movie is about the mystery of the xenomorphs and them becoming a known quantity after the first movie. Prometheus failed because they tried to set up a grand mythology around what amounted to, “a bunch of space wasp-spider-ants tear into us.” I’ve long held to the belief that the best way to view the original Alien was a space trucker was transporting some moldly alien caviar and the eggs hatched, killing everyone. Space is hostile in Alien and no one can hear you scream but the horror is multi-layered with the real terror being that in the year XXXX, we’re still a capitalist dystopia.

    Alien: Romulus mostly gets it right. It’s the story of a bunch of twenty-somethings barely out of their teens that are trying to escape a colony world where they’re treated as little more than slave labor by Weyland-Yutani. They decide on the risky plan of heading up to a seemingly abandoned space station in order to do some looting and get themselves to a planet where they aren’t expected to die in the mines. It is not a spoiler to state that the abandoned space station is full of face-huggers, xenomorphs, and signs that Weyland-Yutani have been conducting unethical experiments like their spiritual descendants in Resident Evil’s Umbrella Corporation.

    Indeed, if I have a small complaint, it’s that Alien: Romulus feels very much like a video game and the Alien: Isolation influences are obvious. There’s more monsters, more action, and more puzzles that our heroes have to solve in order to escape. The cast is also younger, prettier, and, honestly, feel a bit like extras from The Force Awakens with Rain (Cailee Spaeny) having a Rey-like quality about her. I say this is a small complaint because it is a very good video game. I also enjoyed this a helluva lot more than The Force Awakens and I didn’t hate that as much as most fans. If you’re going to steal, steal from the best in your franchise and Alien: Isolation is up there.

    I’m not getting too much into the plot of the movie because there’s not that much of one to describe. It was a very bad idea to come to this space station and getting off becomes a very challenging task. There’s an attempt to weave together all of the mythology from the franchise, including elements from Alien: Resurrection and Prometheus. This I’m iffier about as I am happy consigning them to the dustbin of non-canon but Romulus does better with both film’s concepts than either film. I’m not going to spoil but there’s an element here from Resurrection that was incredibly stupid there but is genuinely horrifying in this one.

    An interesting take on the subject of androids in the setting is the character of Andy (David Jonsson). He is a barely functioning unit that has fallen into the hands of the cast. He is also treated like crap by everyone other than Rain. He is an interesting allegory for racism and disability as the man gets an “upgrade” midway through the film that calls into question how we treat people by their apparent value. Speaking as someone neuroatypical, I resonated with Andy even as I kind of felt like he should have left them all to become alien chow. Even Rain doesn’t look great in how she treats her “brother” more like a pet than a person at times.

    The acting is good, the characters are more than paper-thin, and I enjoyed the action even if I would have slowed it down a bit. I wasn’t a fan of using Ian Holm’s face for a CGI performance by an “Ash”-model android. I feel like they could have easily cast Lance Henrikson instead and it would have made a lot more sense with none of the necromancy element. Rain may not be a Ripley but she’s a solid lead.

    In conclusion, Alien: Romulus is a solid space horror film that reminds me of a lot of the better elements of the franchise while ignoring most of the worst. I give it a solid 8 out of 10. That may not sound like a super-ringing endorsement but it’s fantastic by comparison to much of the regurgitated garbage that just makes use of the HR Giger puppets.

Available here

The Books That Made Me - The Illuminatus Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson

*Fnord* You are reading a silly review *Fnord*

    This is a book trilogy that would mock me for saying that it helped shaped my political and social ideology as well as attitude about sex. This book also helped shape my political and social ideology as well as attitude about sex. ILLUMINATUS! takes the Right Wing racist conspiracy theories of the 1970s (and today) then proceeds to skewer them with a ruthlessness that Mel Brooks would envy. HP Lovecraft, anarchism, James Bond, Captain Nemo, chaos magic, and just about everything else is run through the wringer.

    If you must take away three things from this trilogy, let it be these:

1. Nazism/Fascism/Reactionary politics in general is incredibly stupid: It is propped up by people who take silly things very seriously. If its followers had the slightest bit of humor about themselves then no one would follow it.
2. Question everything because a lot of people are lying to you for money, power, or because they themselves are idiots: Self-explanatory. It doesn’t take much to say something utterly ridiculous with conviction and convince people you know secret truths.
3. Sex is fun and should be had by people having fun: If someone isn’t during it, you’re doing it wrong. Safe, sane, and consensual and none of it anyone else’s business.

    Is it wrong to suggest that, at the end of the day, every insane dictator and mad corporate demagogue is just trying to get his rocks off from the power jolt to his nether regions? I mean, the author makes a good cause it really is *that* Freudian. That the more you scream and want about “my way or the highway’, the more you’re covering up some deep insecurity. Anarchism is also shown to be simply, “Don’t take hierarchy seriously and once everyone realizes it’s all costumes and titles, it can’t hurt you.”

    As for the actual books, they’re ridiculous, mildly smutty, and sketch comedy akin to THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY except predating it by four years. The Illuminati isn’t real, except it is because so many people believe in it that unfortunately it has a non-zero effect on politics and people regularly convince themselves they’re a part of it or try to claim they’re members or just flat out invent versions for themselves. It’s like my claiming to be a Jedi. It’s ridiculous, except there’s no actual Jedi to dispute it so why not? It actually gives some fascinating insight into fandom as people fight over what is the “real” version of Optimus Prime and what a “real” fan of his looks like.

    This trilogy inspired the Steve Jackson card game and ironically caused a bit of a real life bit of confusion as the cards keep the satirical progressive spirit of these books. However, then RPGs of the Nineties took the card game and portrayed the conspiracies as serious–even though they’re parodies of a bunch of racist Far Right idiocy. How do I define Far Right? “You absolutely think this view of the world is the only way to go and everyone who says otherwise should be shot*.”

    You may notice I haven’t described the plot because that would be missing the point. It is a book about nothing like Seinfeld, except everything, because everything is crashing weirdness from people trying to find out what the real Illuminati’s plots are. Either because they want them to succeed, to thwart them, or to join them. If you haven’t guessed what the joke about this quest to defeat the Illuminati is by my description, you may want to give this one a skip. There is lots of sex and people acting stupidly but, scarily, not that much different from the people in power today.

    Is it fantasy? Well, there’s magic, Atlantis, Cthulhu, undead Nazis, magical rock bands, and politicians who actually do want to make the world a better place (they’re just terrible at it). So jump in your giant battleship-sized yellow submarine and seek the truths of the goddess Eris my friends. Or avoid this book like the plague there’s words in it that might make you question things.

    * That’s the Far part.

Available here