Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erd Tree review

    ELDEN RING: SHADOW OF THE ERD TREE is a DLC expansion for the Hidetaka Miyazaki and George R.R. Martin penned Elden Ring. The premise of the game is that the God Queen Marika has shattered the Elden Ring out of grief for her murdered demigod son, Godwyn the Golden. This has plunged the Lands Between into a horrific civil war where the dead rise and chaos reigns. The player character, the Tarnished of No Renown, has set upon a quest to become the new Elden Lord by repairing the Elden Ring then becoming Marika's consort.

    Shadow of the Erd Tree introduces a new land for the Tarnished of No Renown to explore as well as a plot dealing with Marika's youngest child, Miquella the Compassionate. Miquella wishes to become a god and has assembled an oddball collection of servants that he's brainwashed into believing in his vision. The Shadowlands are also tied to God Queen Marika's origins and introduces a new child of hers: Messmer the Impaler. It's more plot than your typical Souls-like and includes a lot of fodder for lore junkies.

    The Shadowlands are a lot more dark and depressing than anywhere in the Lands Between. It is littered with thousands of tombstones and the sign of the ongoing genocide that Messmer has conducted on his mother's behalf. A harrowing tale of revenge and tragedy that you have to do a lot of investigation in order to find out the full horror thereof. The design for the Shadowlands are depressing but beautiful with the empty plains, endless ghosts, and ruins of a once thriving civilization.

    Most Souls-like gamers are not here for the lore or world-building, though. They are here for the gameplay. In this case, Shadow of the Erd Tree is extremely difficult. Not entirely fairly difficult either as some of the bosses go past the enjoyment factor of "Souls difficult" to "the computer is a cheating bastard." Indeed, the developers seem to be aware of this and have introduced a new mechanic called Scadutree Fragments that basically just exist to increase your damage resistance as well as damage output only in the DLC.

    There's some genuinely great bosses like the Royal Knight Rellana, Messmer, and the Dancing Lion. However, there's also some bosses that just flat out are unfun to fight like the Golden Hippopotamus and the Putrescent Knight. Some of the story beats are also accidentally lost as you move through the story. For example, if you want to explore the history of Miquella and Saint Trina then you can't have burned open the path to the final level.

    There's some good loot in the Shadow of the Erd Tree as well as several new abilities that are worth enjoying. This includes new armor, Talismans, and Remembrances that are worthwhile. There's nothing that's particularly gamebreaking but some of the rewards in the DLC could be used to finish the main game easier. I was particularly glad to get some Talismans that can hold off Fire, Holy, and Lightning attacks.

    In conclusion, Shadow of the Erd Tree is a solid DLC. Unfortunately, it is something that is designed for artificial difficulty. When the hippo ignores your Mimic Tear and turbo charges you repeatedly like a heat seeking missile, it is not particularly fun. There's also a lot of platforming that I'm not fond of. Many times, I would try to explore the map only to get completely lost. Still, the expansion is beautiful and the plot is extremely well done. I came to love the characters and lore of this DLC more than anyone in Elden Ring's primary game and I love those characters. Sadly, there's no option to romance Leda the Needle Knight.

8.5/10

Elden Ring review

    THE ELDEN RING is not really a game that needs me to review it. It is a video game that has sold thirteen millon copies and is only selling more as time goes on. It has won countless awards. It was written in conjunction between Hidetaki Miyasaki and George R.R. Martin. The game is good, fantastically good, really, and is up there with some of the all-time best ever made. That is, with the caveat, "Do you like Dark Souls-esque games?" Because that's actually something that not every gamer can answer yes to. They're something a lot of gamers love. However, prior to this game, I'd never played a Souls-like before and it became a punishing learning curve to get used to the game's quirks.

    Basically, for newcomers, a Souls-like game is a game where you play a character that is immortal in-universe. In this case, the Tarnished has been given the ability to come back from the dead but no real other superpowers. You are expected in this game to die a lot and to master the parry, dodging, as well as stabbing abilities needed to survive through trial and error. This is a game where you can grind levels and are expected to but death is punished by losing all of your unspent Experience Points (called "runes") unless you can get to the place where you died to recover them. That comes with the caveat, though, that if you die a second time then the runes are lost forever. This incentivizes the PCs to play well by punishing them for loss.

    The lore of the game is exceptionally deep but incredibly difficult to find out in-universe. The short version is that Marika, the God Queen of the Lands Between, has disappeared and the Elden Ring that provides prosperity has been shattered. All of Marika's demigod children and her Elden Lord husbands have claimed a fragment of the Elden Ring in hopes of assuming rulership of the universe. You, as the immortal Tarnished, are part of a group of warriors resurrected to make their own play for the Elden Ring. If you're a good person, you want to be Elden Lord to fix the world and if you're a bad person then you just want to be elevated to godhood.

    I really like George R.R. Martin's touch in a much more high fantasy world than Westeros and the focus on the Olympian-like demigods and their dysfunctional family that makes this gameworld so great. He apparently wrote much of the backstory that the game requires you to research to understand and its readily apparent. Almost every god has a deep and messed-up backstory relating to their families with messy breakups, long-buried lust, as well as deep philosophical issues with the way the world functions. For millennia, the Golden Order has created a paradise but it was only one for humans and under an immortal God Queen.

    I think my favorite of the demigods are Ranni and Melina, who both are willing to help the Tarnished for their own reasons. I think both characters could have had much more presence in the game and interactions but it is the nature of Elden Ring that anything other than pure gameplay takes a great deal to coax out. Of the bosses, I actually really like Godrick and Rennala who are the runts of the litter of gods. Godrick is a diluted demigod who has turned to Frankensteinian body experimentation to try to become a true immortal while Rennala used to be the world's greatest sorceress but just lives as a madwoman in her academy's attic these days.

    If you want to know what playing the game is like, basically you just wander around multiple gameworld-sized domains looking for monsters to slay and secrets until you're leveled up enough to go after the bosses. The game is fantastically beautiful but takes a special delight in not letting you know when you're underleveled for an area until you're easily smashed by a local monster. Part of what I enjoy is the fact that you start with being able to see the Erd Tree and you never really stop being able to see the miles-tall God-Thing. It provides a focus for the story just by its constant presence.

    There's very few NPCs to interact with compared to many other games but that doesn't mean that they're absent entirely. There's things like talking giant jars, a host of heroic immortal knights that have fallen on hard times, and a few twisted individuals like the loathesome Dung Eater. Figuring out how to trigger their quests is an incredible struggle but that's part of the "no hand holding" nature of the game. There's a lot of things that flat out are impossible to do at the start of the game (and sometimes later) that the game simply laughs at you for. "You can come back from the dead! Start again!"

    In conclusion, the Elden Ring is an incredibly hard but rewarding game. I had a huge amount of fun with it and am already thirty-five hours into it but have yet to even approach endgame. This is a game where I actually recommend you farm your runes and level up as well as allow yourselves to check guides. I never would have managed to enjoy it as much as I came to if not for the help online as well as gaming the system as much as I had. I needed those extra ten levels or so I got from shanking Elder Dragon Greyoll.

Xbox X

Playstation

Middle Earth: Shadow of War review

    MIDDLE EARTH: SHADOW OF WAR is the sequel to the highly popular and enjoyable MIDDLE EARTH: SHADOW OF MORDOR. It was a somewhat blasphemous and fascinating take on the classic Tolkien Legendarium, having its protagonist seek to use necromancy as well as other dark magic to fight the Dark Lord with his own power. You know, the one thing that is constantly warned against by Tolkien as self-defeating but we kind of would be curious as to how it would go.

    Since this is a direct sequel, a brief recap is warranted: Talion is a Ranger of the North without the powerful blood of Numenor running through his veins. After a sneak attack by Sauron's forces, he ends up being possessed by the elven smith Celebrimbor. Talion manages to do a good deal of damage to Sauron's war machine but the realization that the Dark Lord is just getting started is enough to get him to convince Celebrimbor to make a new ring.

    The game starts immediately after Talion sneaks into Mount Doom and proceeds to smith himself a ring with Celebrimbor's help. I would have actually enjoyed sneaking into Mount Doom and am a bit disappointed that Talion didn't have to do so. Either way, Celebrimbor pours his life force into the New Ring (along with yours) but has it almost immediately stolen. This is meant to explain why Talion goes from an orc-slaying badass Ringwraith to a complete weakling again but also actually fits the fact the Rings of Power can never be trusted.

    Unfortunately, this is also where the story starts to go completely off the rails and never quite gets back on them. Specifically, the New Ring is stolen by Sexy Shelob. Yes, the giant spider who almost ate Frodo. Apparently, she can assume a form that can best be described as "Morrigan from Dragon Age in an evening dress."

    Much has already been made of this bizarre lore change, somewhat akin to Godzilla becoming a hot Japanese school girl, but I could meet them halfway on this. Plenty of mythological creatures assume the form of sexy women to eat people because ancient peoples had serious issues with misogyny: vampires, sirens, succubi, kelpies, deer women, and so on. It's just Shelob doesn't have her one characterization trait and instead works as a kind of anti-Galadriel, putting Talion on the road to destroying Sauron. Because, apparently they used to date.

    Oh sweet Eru.

    No.

    Seriously, you have no idea how badly you must screw with the lore to get me to not support more pale raven-haired witches in fiction. Not saying it’s a fetish but it's a fetish. Anywho, Talion has to use his unholy powers, diminished as they are, to try to help protect Minis Ithil from an invasion of orcs. I mean, technically the citadel should have fallen a thousand years before, but this Sauron is just getting started.

    Talion meets a cute pint-sized Eowyn named Idril, her Haradrim captain, and father before asking, "Could I please have your palantir because the ghost in my head wants it before Sauron gets it?" This goes poorly and becomes a bickering conflict between Talion wanting to save lives and Celebrimbor seeking absolute power to defeat Sauron.

    The story is pretty complex and spread across multiple zones of Mordor. Some of the ideas are quite interesting as you apparently meet an Ent-Wife (or their patron Maia), you have to deal with a cult of necromancers, contend with a Balrog waking up, and finally have the Nazgul introduced since Sauron is well and truly tired of Talion/Celebrimbor's bullshit. 

    Frankly, some of these would have made pretty good games themselves and I kind of think it'd have been hilarious if instead of Sexy Shelob, they'd made Durin's Bane be the beautiful woman who stole Celebrimbor's ring. That would have been ridiculous but not necessarily lore breaking. Who says the Balrog can't be female? Plus, as a Maia, the idea they can assume a human form goes with the territory. She'd probably be a redhead, though. 

    Sadly, the weird lore breaking gets even worse as the game goes on as we find out the identities of the Nazgul like Helm Hammerhand, Isildur, and a group of Chinese-themed twin sisters (DLC only). There's also a guy who was clearly meant to be Al-Pharazon but they changed his name, which is about the only smart move they did. This is just silly because the people who know who these people are don't want to see them stuck with entirely different characters. It's like revealing Darth Revan's true identity was Luke Skywalker all along. Even if you explain that he was transported back in time via a wormhole, that doesn't make it less stupid.

    Unfortunately, as silly as the world-building is and the game's inability to commit to any of its interesting ideas (I'd happily play an entire game of Talion versus a Balrog), the storytelling is by far the best part of the game. The gameplay is decent but the attempt to make it a much-larger open world game and introduce base management elements doesn't really improve it. The previous game benefited fantastically from the Nemesis System where artificially generated orcs are used to harass Talion, but this has a lot more predetermined ones that are less interesting. There's also a lot more of them so by the time you've killed your 50th Captain, you're kind of sick of them.

    Perhaps the most egregious of trying to push the gamers into unnecessary time-wasting content is that to get the "true" ending, you must do ten sieges of your bases by Sauron's forces. Sieges are not particularly enjoyable, and these are lacking in any form of story. It's just time-wasting busy work for a short cutscene that should have been at the end of the game anyway.

    I feel like the game doesn't make use of its set pieces very well, either. You have an entire mission chain in the area around Mount Doom and you never get to go inside but for the New Ring forging scene. The New Ring's powers are also not particularly well-defined with mind-control being an ability you had in the previous game. I feel like when introducing something like a new Ring of Power, you need to be a little more grandiose in your ambitions. There was more to complain about the game, like loot boxes, but, thankfully, the developers removed those.

    Despite this, stabbing orcs and jumping off buildings to stab orcs will never not be fun. Much the same for blowing up barrels of grog and setting hordes of baddies on fire like you're in a Medieval Michael Bay movie. Do I hate those damn caragors? You bet I do. However, there's never not going to be a lot of fun had as a Not-Nazgul.

    In conclusion, Middle Earth: Shadow of War suffers from the fact that they wanted to appeal to the broadest audience possible and that meant making some very big compromises in the lore. I like the original characters for the most part and wouldn't have had a problem if they had just made Sexy Shelob into another previously unknown fallen Maia. It's already fanfic with Talion and company, that doesn't mean it has to be bad fanfic. It's still a lot of fun playing this game, branding orcs and mind-controlling them, but it's not as fun as its predecessor due to the slog as well as attempts to push the sieges as a main gameplay element. 

7.5/10

Available here

Dishonored 2 review

    Dishonored is one of my favorite games of all time. It is an update of everything I loved about the Thief games but with an even richer steampunk setting. I loved the character of Corvo Attano, even if he couldn't speak, and was emotionally invested in his desire to save his daughter Emily. The dark and rat-infested Georgian nightmare of Dunwall combined the Black Death with the worst of the Industrial Revolution. In short, I was all for Dishonored 2 and eager to see what Arkane Studios would do with it.

Choose but choose wisely.

    So, what do I think? Well, this is a difficult game to review because I'd very much like to give this game a 10 out of 10 but I can't do to the fact so many little things bug me. There's a lot of things from Dishonored 2 I wanted which the game gave me but there's also places where it zigged instead of zagged that lowered my overall impression of the game.

    Overall, I have played the game twice so I don't see a reason not to purchase it but I don't think it's going to be remembered as a classic the way the original should be. Instead, I'm going to summarize my review as, "More Dishonored without much in the way of changes and about as good as the original's DLC content."

    The premise is Empress Emily Kaldwin has been ruling the Empire for the better part of fifteen years. You can see the changes brought about by her reign in the fact there is now a greater egalitarianism in the Empire's city guards, composed now of women and people of color as well as men. However, she is less interested in ruling than late night adventures with her father. Unfortunately, her lack of interest in ruling has resulted in a conspiracy to frame her for executing her political enemies which seems like a strange charge given most rulers did that around the 18th century.

Delilah is a decent villain but feels rehashed.

    Delilah Copperspoon, Big Bad of the The Knife of Dunwall as well as Brigmore Witches DLCs, has returned from the dead to menace the throne. Claiming to be Empress Jessamine's bastard sister, she uses clockwork soldiers and spells to overthrow Empress Emily in the span of a few minutes. You are then given a choice between playing Emily or Corvo again. While the game developers made an excellent decision getting Stephen Russell to voice Corvo Attano (the one true Garrett from Thief), I think this game is "meant" to be played as Emily since it's all about her learning just how badly she misjudged her responsibilities as Empress.

    The majority of the game takes place not in Dunwall but on the island of Serkonos, which is the equatorial island beneath the island of Gristol. It is a very different kind of location than the dark, dank, and cramped streets of the Empire's capital. This is something I have mixed feelings about because so much of the game takes place in a sunny tropical paradise, which seems an odd choice for a steampunk stealth game. While there's hints about the immense poverty and corruption in the city of Karnaka, you only rarely get to see it. Part of what made Dishonored such a great game was how much of a crapsack hellhole the place was. Here, a lot of the "dark avenger of the night" atmosphere is lost when you're wandering around in broad daylight wearing your skull mask.

Karnaka is a beautiful city. Marred, a bit by Disney trams.

    The game's plot is basically a rehash of the original game with Corvo's particularly bad as you have to rescue Emily again and restore her to her rightful place. In Emily's path, you're at least restoring yourself but I think they could have done something a bit different. It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't also rehashing the original game's DLCs too. None of this is done poorly and it's all well-handled but it definitely feels like seconds rather than a new meal altogether. I wouldn't be upset if they decided to keep Emily and Corvo as the protagonists for the game series but I hope they can think of better material than another conspiracy against the throne (of which this is the FOURTH in two games).

    What the game lacks in story, it makes up in level design, though. Despite my wish all of the levels took place at night, I very much enjoyed exploring the imaginative levels. The Clockwork Mansion is the stand-out environment with its parts moving and changing based on what levers are pushed. There's also a level which actually has you go back in time, to and fro, due to the assistance of the Outsider. I liked even the less imaginative levels with the Asylum and Conservatory both being extremely well-done. All of them contain multiple pathways to reach your goal as well as numerous ways to eliminate your foes. Assassin's Creed could learn a lot from Dishonored just as it has learned from Assassins' Creed.

Emily has the power of the Darkness! Bwhahaha!

    The characters in the game are a mixture of standouts and ehhh. The targets of Duke Abele (Vincent D'Onofrio) and Kirine Jindosh (John Gegenhuber) are great while Alexandria Hypatia (Jessica Straus) and Breanna Ashmore (Melendy Britt) feel underused. Then there's targets like Liam Byrne and Paolo (Pedro Pascal) who can literally be skipped. I'm also less than impressed with how plain some of the Low Chaos eliminations are.

    In the original game, the non-lethal takedowns of targets were genuinely sadistic and put to lie the idea you were being "merciful" by not killing them. Here, some of them just feel too tame with rare exceptions. I think the only ones which live up to the original game are lobotomizing a man with his own machine and replacing another with their body double as they're dragged off to an asylum. One non-lethal takedown, arguably the most important one, gives the target everything they could ever want and I hated it.

The Clockwork Soldiers are a great Thief homage.

    I will give the game credit for having the levels respond to your actions. At one point, I murdered Delilah's lover, Breanna, in front of her during a magical communication. Delilah reacted to it in disgust and horror. Later, I redid the level and had her disabled before I had the option of calling Delilah up to taunt her about it. Similarly, in the time travel level, there's a number of opportunities to change history which I found quite cool. The game doesn't point them out, either, but you have to figure them out for yourself.

    Gameplay wise, things have been tweaked rather than changed, if that makes sense. There are more non-lethal attacks and there's an option for a limited parkour-like movement which I never used because I was more interested in sneaking softly. There's also a lot more methods of non-lethally disabling opponents but a lot fewer sleep darts you can carry with you. So, you have to be somewhat smarter than just darting everyone like I ended up doing. Also, you need to find black markets to restore your stash rather than just refilling in-between missions.

The villains have a lot of cool relationships.

    Still, I absolutely loved playing Empress Emily Kaldwin and think she's a great video game protagonist. She reminded me a great deal of Assassin's Creed: Syndicate's Evie in appearance but had a much more likable personality even if I think she overstated how important the Empire was to her. I didn't really buy she cared one way or the other about save basic human sympathy. Even so, I'd happily have her be the protagonist of the next game and wouldn't at all mind her father being one too, even if he's getting a bit long in the tooth.

    So what did I think, overall? Well it was fun and perfectly serviceable as a video game. None of the flaws are particularly bad and I've had a lot of games I just couldn't finish lately but this has been one I've done twice. On the other hand, I think the game is very much a sequel. It's very much more of the same and doesn't do the dark, grimy, Industrial Revolution atmosphere of before. In short, it's basically a much lighter and softer version of a game I really enjoyed for how dark it was. I'm glad I played it and think this is a game which isn't remotely disappointing, unlike most of 2016's offerings.

8.5/10

The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine review

    And so the saga of Geralt of Rivia comes to an end. As successful as the Witcher saga is, I'm of the mind we probably haven't seen the last video game starring either the eponymous witcher or his adopted daughter Ciri, but I do think this is very likely the end before a reboot or for a number of years. As a hypothetical end to the franchise, though, it's a pretty enjoyable piece of fanfic. Certainly, it's less depressing than the way Andrzej Sapkowski left it.

    Blood and Wine's premise is Geralt getting approached by a pair of Toussaint knights asking him to help them fight a monster terrorizing their fairy-tale kingdom. It doesn't take Geralt long to deduce this is the work of a higher vampire and is stunned by the return of an old friend who offers his peculiar insight into their condition. What follows is a tale of betrayal, greed, love, and frustrated ambition which goes in a bizarre direction before the exciting conclusion.

Toussaint is a triumph of artistic design and color.

    It's not really a spoiler to say Blood and Wine has a serious focus on vampires after the monsters have largely been absent from the Witcherverse. They're an established part of the lore with a vampire brothel showing up in the first game and the novel character of Regis, a vampire alchemist, making his return to the franchise. I like the mythology of the Witcherverse vampires with them coming in three varieties: Higher Vampires, Bruxa, and Katakans.

    Higher Vampires are near-indestructible Count Dracula in Castlevania types, Bruxa are very powerful sexy vampires, and Katakans are mindless evil vampires. Each of them plays a unique role in the setting and you get to slay all of them by the end of the game. The DLC also expands on their history and lore in the setting. One of my favorite parts is visiting a vampire temple where you learn about how the undead have fostered civilization in order to make humans easier and more available prey. :shudder:

This is one of the good guy vampires.

    Toussaint is a beautifully rendered setting and, combined with the Heart of Stone DLC, easily could have been a third Witcher game or a spin off by itself. At about twenty-hours of gaming, it's well into the size of a separate game. The culture, personalities, and adventures are all well developed with the feel of Southern France. I came to love Toussaint despite my passionate hatred of Nilfgaard and wouldn't actually mind Geralt settling down there despite, again, it would be in the territory of the Black Ones.

    I came to love the characters of Duchess Anna Henrietta, Syanna, Dettlaff, and, of course, Regis. All of them have very big and bold personalities, which contrasts nicely to the more subdued ones of the main Witcher game. Indeed, it is a common thread in the story that the people of Toussaint are just plain nicer than the people of the North. That doesn't apply to the main story, though, which is fundamentally about decent people being warped by their circumstance until the point they do terrible things to one another. There's no ending which doesn't end with someone being horribly burned.

The ladies of the court manage to be regal yet not snooty. Amazing accomplishment there for an avowed noble hater like me.

    There's a running theme throughout the DLC of the differences between true honor and the appearance of honor. This is a theme visited in Game of Thrones repeatedly but makes sense here as well. The people of Toussaint can afford to look brave and act heroic because they have the money to do so. However, their true faces come out when their positions are challenged or they aren't being rewarded for goodness. Dettlaff is a character I particularly liked and feel his endings were undeserved every bit as much as Syanna's potential ones.

    Players wondering what they'll get in terms of gameplay benefits should note the Blood and Wine Expansion comes with a base of operations for Geralt to store his booty, raises the level cap to an absurd 100 levels, and provides Grandmaster Witcher gear in order to have the best armor in the game for whatever school you prefer. There's also the option to dye your armors whatever color you prefer, which can be quite nice if you prefer Geralt in all-black or pink. I also appreciated the fact, if you deleted your save, you can just play this separately with a pregenerated character of the appropriate level as well as equipment.

Syanna is a beautiful character.

    There's some silly elements to the game which don't quite fit like when Geralt is forced to visit an illusion-based land of Western European fables which seems contradictory to the otherwise Slavic tone of the series. Also, I felt bad for slaughtering the Three Little Pigs after blowing their house down. I will say, though, this is more than made up for by the fascinating story branches and overall very serious storyline that draws from my favorite short story in the novels.

    The DLC's tone is some of the most mature in the franchise, even if it never quite reaches the epic tragedy of Heart of Stone. The writing is top notch and all of the various adventures reinforce the themes of family, betrayal, honor, glory, and love. One of the things I love about the story is a major motivation for the games events is a man being willing to do anything for his ex-girlfriend, not quite realizing she's just not that into him.

Detlaff is a wonderfully hard boss. But, for me, I prefer him not to be fought at all.

    There's also the fact the best ending of the game requires some evil people to get away scott free while some good don't get punished. The Witcher has always been one of the most mature games in fantasy so it's nice to see them push the envelope even when they're being lighter and softer. Fans of grimdark fiction will note the people of Toussaint aren't starving in the streets and have a sympathetic merciful lord but it's a place where daggers are always hiding behind pleasant smiles.

    I think the game could have benefited by having a couple of other love interests and a few more paths to take in the final choice but I also believe the game worked spectacularly. Dettlaff is probably my favorite character out of a very good collection of choices. He's a vampire who thinks more like a pack animal than a man. He protects those he cares for, destroys those he loves, and doesn't have any concept of betrayal or manipulation save that it permanently severs any trust he has for a person.

A less memorable but still intensely hard monster.

    The difficulty spike of the game is significant this time around with vampires being some of the hardest foes in the game. Even at the recommended levels for fighting the monsters, they proved to be things which required a great deal of dodging and high-level equipment in order to survive. I also regretted I didn't make more ample use of potions as they were desperately needed in several places. Really, I wish they had given some tougher armor for this game but I was most satisfied with the final equipment I possessed.

    The handling of vampires is also something I'm back on forth about. They're done masterfully and some of the best-developed vampires in gaming. However, they're also a group which contradicts the handling of them in Sapkowski's books. Sapkowski made a whole race of friendly vampires with the idea of them being a threat to humanity the result of dumb human prejudice and jealousy. Here, the vampires are some of the most threatening I've seen in years. I generally dislike friendly vampire depictions so it's kind of ironic that I'm so mixed in my feelings here.

Goodbye Geralt, enjoy your vineyard.

    In conclusion, I'm sorry to see the Witcher saga come to an end but if it had to do so then I'm glad it went out this way. Geralt of Rivia gets the option of retiring in a land which is beautiful and peaceful or he can move on to fight for justice following another tragedy. Whatever way you choose to play Geralt, you'll have a load of fun with this installment. It really is The Witcher 4 in many ways and I think every fan of The Witcher 3 should play it.

10/10

Game Of Thrones: Episode Five: A Nest of Vipers review

    The penultimate episode of Telltale's adaptation of the Game of Thrones series is the shortest one released by Telltale, clocking in at about an hour and a half rather than the usual two hours. I don't really mind this as I'm more than willing to pay five dollars for that amount of gaming experience.

    Telltale's version of George R.R. Martin's setting is a good deal toned down from the original source material, which is saying something given the number of bodies dropped left and right in this game. Still, I'm actually pleased to say they've managed to insert a (possible) sex scene into the game as well as kill enough of the cast that it can officially qualify as part of the GRIMDARK subgenre.

    The good kind.

    This retroactively applies to all previous episodes as well. Which means that it is going to be listed under the Grimdark section of my Labels from now on. Congratulations, Telltale! Either way, this is a fairly dark episode and one which left me feeling pretty kicked in the guts after the relatively upbeat and triumphant Episode Four: Sons of Winter.

What they're looking at is horrible.

     The premise of this episode is the Foresters have all of their triumphs from the previous episode reversed in a fairly staggering short-order. Ramsay Bolton slaughters a likable character from a previous episode, Gryff is freed by the traitor, you may have to murder someone for a crowd's entertainment, one of your supporters is revealed to be a monster, there's another potential supporting cast death which you can't prevent, and there's a moment which rivals The Walking Dead for sheer sadism.

    But you can sleep with Lady Glenmore.

    So there is that.

    Oh and you can hunt some rabbits with your friend's kid-sister, who may be flirting with you but I hope not because while Westeros girls are considered adults early on, I don't roll that way and hope Gared doesn't either.

    Then zombies attack.

I hope she's not meant to be Gared's Ygritte because she looks about fourteen to me.

     Honestly, this episode is probably going to be very controversial with fans and for good reason. The traitor has been teased and hinted at since Episode One but the revelation is bound to be unsatisfying and feel more than a little arbitrary (because it is arbitrary). Given the way I bonded the revealed character, I found his betrayal unbelievable.

    The fact I know it purely depends on a decision made in Episode One rather than more coherent well-reasoned motivations. The weird thing is the traitor continues spouting he's doing it all for House Forester to the bitter end, despite the fact the consequences of their action are catastrophic. I really would have been happier if the traitor had revealed they were doing it for money or position because, at least, that would have made sense.

    Cold-blooded? Yes. Despicable? Yes.

    Understandable? In Westeros? Yes.

    You win or you die.

    I buy a man deciding to cash after being on the losing side. I don't buy a man who, because of a relatively minor decision, throws the family under the bus and tells me to my face it was for their own good.

    That takes Ramsay Bolton levels of self-delusion.

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"

    The episode also relies heavily on action, more so than any previous episode. Indeed, you could summarize A Nest of Vipers as, mostly, "Gared fights some dudes, Asher fights some dudes, Rodrik tries to fight Ramsay but fails, Rodrik and Asher fights some dudes, and Mira does some talking." While I'm usually very forgiving of Telltale's quick-time events, I can't help but think there were too many this time around and they existed for stretching out a story which could have been only five episodes long.

    In a weird way, I think the game glosses over a lot of stuff it should be covering while also feeling padded. A good section of this episode introduces Asher to a bunch of murderous pit fighters and gladiators which are now, due to Daenerys taking over, out of work. They have an interesting leader, a former friend of Beskha (possibly lover), and a lot of complicated history which gets completely shoved aside so Asher can jump in the pit to get some Russel Crowe's Gladiator going on.

    The illusion of free-will thing also shows up again in the game. Telltale is not very good at making one's decisions matter but there's some exceptions this time around. They may simply be whether or not certain characters die but, at least, that's consequences. Besides, the final choice will, hopefully, not be suddenly rendered moot in the finale of the game.

    But I'm not counting on it.

Peter Dinklage doesn't phone it in like in Destiny, so I'm grateful for that.

    There are some frustrating moments in this episode, despite its many pluses. For example, during one scene, you are trying to talk to someone without alerting a guard who is listening. When the individual asks you an incriminating question, you have to either lie to them or answer truthfully, which will endanger you. There's no option to, I dunno, NOD YOUR HEAD which seems like a rather glaring omission.

    I will say A Nest of Vipers has successfully gotten me pumped for the finale of the game. I don't know how they're going to resolve all of the outstanding plot issues but the writing has been good enough that I'd like to see them try. Unfortunately, this episode substitutes action for characterization and a few of the characters behave in a wholly unbelievable manner. That hurts a game which relies so heavily on its supporting cast.

8.5/10

Game of Thrones: Episode 4: Sons of Winter review

    The events of the Game of Thrones Telltale adaptation are gradually, very gradually, coming to a head. We discover a rough outline of where everyone is attempting to go with their various plots and have a vague hint as where it's all going to climax in the coming two volumes. I'm fairly sure this is a story which is going to have a sequel, at least as long as the series is on, but it will probably bring a definitive climax to the Forrester-Whitehill feud.

    The premise this time around is that the Forester fortunes receive a sudden and unexpected boost from his fiance. Lord Whitehill forced her father at swordpoint to end her engagement with Rodrick Forrester before attempting to marry her to his son Gryff. This final humiliation is too much for either Rodrick or his beloved, resulting in her recruiting the elite guard of House Glenmore to assist him in retaking Ironrath. This, of course, means that suddenly the Forresters have a potential hostage of their own.

Daeny reacts negatively to anything you have to say. Which is weird because Asher is the roguish mercenary type she loves.

    Mira, meanwhile, starts to investigate the plot by Lord Whitehill in King's Landing, which shows Ludd to be more shrewd than he appears. Daenerys Targaryen is less than pleased at a Stark bannerman coming to recruit some of her mercenaries on the ease of a major battle, so she is less than sympathetic to Asher's plight but an old wound of his friend Beskha can be exploited. Finally, Gared must deal with the consequences of killing his fellow Nightswatchman Britt, despite the fact he's a psychopath.

    In short, there is a staggering amount of stuff going on in this episode. This is what inclines me to like it. It really felt like it was a much-much denser story than the vast majority of Telltale episodes. While other episodes in the series may have been more "fun", I'm going to say this is probably amongst the best they've ever done, period. I liken it to the  Around Every Corner of The Walking Dead, which is my definitive example of a packed storyline.

It's like the Last Supper, except everyone is Judas.

    Another thing I liked about this episode is we managed to get a lot of characterization for numerous minor characters, which expands the cast beyond the somewhat stereotypically Stark-like Forresters. Lady Elaena and Arthur Glemore are two very proactive and rootable heroes who give our heroes a much-needed victory against the scummy Whitehills. Beskha's background is expanded from beyond being Asher's notable Brienne-esque sidekick to someone suffering from the tragedy of Meereen's sick decadence.

    However, the biggest beneficiaries of the game's character development are the unlikable Frey-alikes in the Whitehill family. As Bolton bannermen, they are disgusting petty bullies. They aren't nearly as evil as Ramsay Bolton but they're also more believably despicable too. There's few Hannibal the Cannibal or the Joker serial killers like Ramsay in real-life but plenty of people like Lord Whitehill. I knew I would have to kill the fat bastard as soon as he mocked the Forresters over the body of their dead lord from Episode One.

    Here, at least, we get a sense for why Ludd Whitehill is such a piece of offal. We find the magnificent Whitehill castle which has fallen to utter ruin, we find out his wife died horribly when his child was very young, and also that they're surrounded by a desert of clearcut Ironwood. They're impoverished patricians who are, rightly, embarrassments to their status. It may be all their fault that they've run their family fortune into the ground but poverty can ruin people and it's at least *A* motivation other than: "The Whitehills are just dicks."

I'm not sure if she's supposed to be a potential love-interest for Gared or twelve. Which is kind of disturbing in terms of character-design.

    The King's Landing segments are also extremely tense and interesting, allowing Mira Forrester to play politics seriously for the first time. She can betray her friend, Sera, and gain a political advantage or she can stay loyal with the potential of destroying her family. As mentioned, we also find out Ludd Whitehill is a lot smarter than he appears, fully aware House Forrester will avenge themselves if given a chance. The villain there is something of a caricature but I actually liked Lyman Lannister as he turns out to have had an all-too-human weakness.

    The best part of the episode was also the chance to chance to sit down across from the Whitehills at a quote-unquote peace-summit. Watching Ludd Whitehill bluster, hiss, and stomp his way around you at a situation where he's not in complete control is delightful. I also liked the non-standard game over you can adopt if you choose to break sacred hospitality. Walder Frey has destroyed any notion that lords and ladies of Westeros can negotiate in peace and such will have long-lasting repercussions.

Was there anyone who encouraged Beskha not to kill the guy?

    I'm iffier about Asher and Gared Tuttle's plots. The depiction of Daenerys Targaryen is hostile, sneering, contemptuous, and a trifle insane. She's smug and self-righteous too, which isn't entirely inappropriate but seems strange for a woman charismatic enough to win an army from nothing. I'd buy it if she was growling at Asher because his family were Stark bannermen but that doesn't come up.

    Likewise, Beshka's storyline arc goes in a rather obvious direction. I'm getting that we're making a slow but obvious choice of Essos vs. Westeros for Asher's priorities but I can't imagine anyone sparing Beskha's former master once they hear the story of her abuse.

    Gared's plotline is enjoyable with his encounter with the Wildlings being genuinely tense. Unfortunately, Gared Tuttle's inability to give more than a token defense that anyone listens to exposes the fact Telltale games are still as on the rails as your average subway train. I don't mind that choices in Telltale games are illusionary in their importance but I do like it when they're not immediately made unimportant by the next episode's events.

    There's a lot of potential "gasp" moments like the results of revealing Sera's paternity, Beskha's vengeance, and Gared's treatment by Frostfinger. I never expected Gared to remain at the Night's Watch very long but I like how they're keeping the general shape of the Jon Snow arc without being completely identical.

Arthur Glenmore is a hilarious character and a much-needed source of levity in this series.

    I think one of the weaknesses the game has had is the over-reliance on show characters whereas the cast is finally growing large enough that we can deal with characters which are entirely under the control of Telltale games. This adds a layer of urgency as while Ramsay Bolton or Cersei Lannister's fate is out of our hands, Sera Flowers or Gryff's is entirely in our hands. Well, at least until the next episode when I'm certain that events will conspire against them no matter what we do. I care what happens to Gwyn Whitehill and poor Gared, even if I think the show could be a trifle more adult rather than the PG-fantasy it's been so far.

    PG-13, if not the show's R.

    In conclusion, Sons of Winter is a powerful action-packed episode which manages to make its dense plotting and heavy-characterization work well. The Forresters are finally feeling about 7/10ths of George R.R. Martin's work rather than just pale-imitations of the Starks. Given the show has doubled-down on some of its questionable elements as well as taken the grimdark to a new level, watching the heroes slightly improve their station is welcome.

10/10