Fantastic Four (2025) review

    THE FANTASTIC FOUR is a movie that a lot of us were looking forward to as much, if not more, than Superman (2025). A lot of people complain about superhero fatigue but I actually think it's more like "cinema fatigue" with the problem not being that people aren't going to see superhero movies but that they aren't seeing movies period anymore. Streaming and Covid-19 are a one-two punch that means that if people are going to the movies, they'll probably do so only for things that are big events.

    Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say that I this one is a miss rather than a hit. I think Superman (2025) was a far better movie and this is just sort of okay--if that. Rather than compare it to Superman (2025) exclusively, I'm going to compare it to Marvel's other movies from the year with Thunderbolts and Captain America: Brave New World. I liked it the least of the three with Thunderbolts having a lot more heart and Brave New World being okay but still enjoyable.

    The premise is that on an alternate 1960s Earth, the Fantastic Four have managed to bring about world peace and elevate everything to a zeerust Pre-War Fallout-esque future. All in the span of about four years, which is already something that puts me off world-building wise. Sue Storm is pregnant with Franklin Richards and the family is in a really good headspace when they receive an ominous warning from the Silver Surfer: their world will be destroyed by Galactus within the year.

    The positives of this movie first: Julia Garner is fantastic as the Silver Surfer and I would have probably enjoyed a movie about her over this group. All those people complaining about the Silver Surfer receiving a gender flip are being silly. First, it's an alternate universe. Second, those saying it's a big support of the 'womenz' miss that a substantial chunk of the male audience (and some women) are going to enjoy her sexy re-design.

    I also appreciate a comics-accurate depiction of Galactus. The whole idea that audiences would never accept a skyscrapper-sized giant space god depends on the idea that there's something inherently less silly about guys with cosmic ray-induced powers over a Titan-sized being. If you're here for the comic book silliness, you're here for the comic book silliness. Which is why Krypto was perfectly fine and comic book editors were stupid to try to get rid of Supergirl for decades. In fact, Galactus being onscreen only for about ten minutes total is my biggest complaint about the film.

    As for the Fantastic Four themselves? Well, they're definitely the Fantastic Four. Reed is smart, Sue is the mature one, Ben is a rock guy, and Johnny is driven by his desire to bang the Silver Surfer. Honestly, it's a very bland and vanilla take on the characters with the only one who elevates the material being Pedro Pascal. His Reed is coded as autistic and I appreciated the representation even as I got pissed off when he called himself broken because of it. Mind you, this is a personal issue for me so it might not irritate you like it did me.

    In simple terms, the movie is boring. The action scenes have no stakes, no one is threatened, and our heroes don't seem to struggle throughout. The fact the entire world hangs on their every word and only turns on them briefly (before being resolved by a speech) is ludicrous. I just didn't have much fun during the film.

4/10